


Amnesia

by AlwaysInMyHeartL



Series: Amnesia [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Amnesia, Amnesia Louis, Eleanor Is A Beard, Flashbacks, Hurt Harry, I Tried, Liam - Freeform, Louis had an accident, Louis has amnesia, M/M, Set in 2014, Wedding, eleanor is important but barely mentioned, eleanor is mean, finding love again, happy end, i dont hate her, louis deserves happiness, niall - Freeform, reason is of a larry fight, sleepless harry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-02-02
Packaged: 2018-09-16 01:43:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 41,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9268193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysInMyHeartL/pseuds/AlwaysInMyHeartL
Summary: What happens when the person you love forgets you?? What would you do?! What should you feel? All this Harry goes through Harry's head. The reason? Louis got hit by another car. Even though he hasn't got any outer physical injuries, he still got injured in his head which coursed him to lose his memory.******I wrote this fanfic on wattpad already and wanted to have it here too! its quite the same, i just corrected my mistakes on here *-*





	1. Chapter 1

Harry Pov

Like the last days I am sitting here - in front of his bed. Waiting for him to wake up. But he doesn't.

Why did I have to yell at him? Why did we have to fight? If this didn't have happened, he wouldn't have taken his car and wouldn't have gotten into this accident. That brick wouldn't have crashed into my love.

But he did and I can't change it. Unfortunately. I really would do literally everything to turn the time back.

While I am trying to find a solution to my problem, I feel something or someone hitting me.

I immediately look up to Liam. He's giving me a small smile. Like the other days he's trying to cheer me up- which makes me feel a bit better but it doesn't help. He fails terrible. Even though he tries his best. I know he wants me to be happy and I really am grateful for having such a good friend as Liam but he can't wake up Louis.. So, I can´t be happy.

"Hi, Harry"

I simple nod and turn around to my boyfriend.

"Harry, c'mon. Let's go to the cafeteria and eat and drink something. You need it.."

"Thanks, Liam. But I can't just go away. Plus I'm not hungry nor do I want to drink something. I have some water here though."

"But you need it.."

"Liam, I'm not the one to worry about. I'm fine. I don't need it."

"Harry. Lad, you need it. Or do you want to be here to as a patient, too? Louis will need you when he wakes up and won't need a sick boyfriend!!"

"But what if he wakes up when we're out?! I don't want him to stare at that ridiculous white wall when he wakes up.."

"Harry, listen.. I don't think he will wake up that soon.."

I stare at him in disbelief. How could he say that? I thought he was a friend of Louis. How can he think that Louis wouldn't wake up ?

"What did you just say?!"

I stand up furiously and go to him. I shove him at this wall and look at him. He looks terrified. But I dont care. He just told me that he doesn't believe in Louis waking up in the near future. What's wrong with him?

I hear a little noise. Something like a person would move in a bed or so but simple just forget it because of that person in front of me. I dont even know why I'm that upset over Liam. Okay, he said that he doesn't think that Louis will wake up the next days but that couldn't make me want to hit him so much at that wall so he would be unconscious, or?

Coming to hitting his head, I take his shoulder. Ready to slam him several times at the wall, I hear it again. That noise and then a cracking voice.

"Hello?!"

We both turn around immediately and look at Louis. He's watching us quite confused and even a little bit cautiously. When I notice what just happened I storm to the bed. To Louis. Finally! Finnayhe's awake I waited so long for this to happen. I smile at him like an idiot. We´ll be able to cuddle, again! I can tell him again that he loves me and will actuatlly get an answer back!! I´m so excited! I could hug everyone, at the moment. Even Liam, the fucker.

"Louis!! Finally are you awake. I was thinking about you waking up a few minutes ago!! I felt that you would come back.. to me. Liam actually wanted me to go to that silly cafeteria. But I knew you would wake up! I missed you so much, babe! I love you, Louis..."

As this three words leave my mouth, I see how his eyes widen and he looks even more confused than before. He swallows and tries to move away from me but doesn´t really manage to.

"What??! What are you talking about?! I dont know you!! Who are you?! Where I am?!"

That has to be a joke, a lie. I eye him in disbelief and look for any hints of a lie or i don't know what I am actually looking for. But I know that Louis wouldn't ever lie to me. He really doesn't know who I am. Louis, the love-of-my-life, doesn´t remember me existing. He doesn´t know of us. He doesn´t know that we love us so much. He simply doesn´t. WOW. My day just can´t get better now, eh?

I feel tears running down my face and myself falling to the ground. I didn't hurt myself. Nothing can hurt more than your love telling you that he can't remembers your relationship. Even if I had hurt myself, I wouldn't have felt it.

Liam calls a doctor and sits down next to me.

"Harry. He just woke up. He will be fine! Okay?! He's Louis!! He'll make it!!"

I shake my head in disbelief and stand up. I go straight to the door and turn around once. To look at Louis. He's watching me sadly. I know that he hates seeing me like that right now, I know him long enough to see that in his eyes, in him biting his lips and how he wants to look away but doesn´t manage to.

"I'm so sorry, mate.."

Mate..

He never told me that. Never. Not even in our talking-stage. But now he did. He really can't remember me- his boyfriend he has almost for 4 years, now. Fuck. I´ve never felt so hurt. 

This is it, I have to go away from here like immediately and that's what I do. I run out of the room and out of that hospital. Wide away from anyone. I don't run away so wide though. Only ten minutes? I don´t think that it was more.

I'm in a nice park. Louis and I had a 'date' here. Like a week before the accident happened. I sit down on a rock and start to think of all that mess. I think of me and him meeting. Our first kiss. Our dates. Our first time. Him and me going on holidays. Our lovely memories only I can remember now. If I knew before this would happen, I would have tried to avoid the fights and used those hours positively. To show him my love. Especially at this one day. I should have loved him and not make him feel bad. It´s my fault, obviously. It´s the fault of that stupid, stupid driver. It´s the fault of destiny because it wanted this to happen to us. Why though? We were so happy together, even though we sometimes fought. I love him so much. He loved me too. But now he doesn´t.

It takes me two full hours to notice what an idiot and terrible boyfriend I am actually. I should be here for him. Help him. How selfish am I even?!

For like the hundreds time in the last ten minutes I feel my phone vibrate. I am quite afraid to pick up or even watch who it is. But I have to. So I take my phone out of my jeans.

Liam.

I answer the call immediately.

"Hello? Liam?"

"HARRY?! Where the fuck are you? You can't just run away! Louis is YOUR boyfriend and needs YOU now!! Get your stupid ass here!! IMMEDIATELY."

"Does he remember me?!"

A little hope grows inside of me. Maybe it just takes a bit after waking up? 

But Liam doesn't answer. The only thing I can hear is his breathing.

"Liam?! Please answer me! Yes or no?!"

"No. That's why we need you to come here now! He needs you! So get your ass in that fucking hospital if you don't want to get hit later! Now! I swear you, I will really do it!"

I roll my eyes and look around. I know that place. I would have to be in the hospital in ten minutes or a little less if I run.

"I'm on my way!"

"Good!"

He hangs up.

While I'm running to that ridiculous place, I am trying to find something to say. Something to show Louis that our love is real. But how? Will Louis ever remember our relationship or will he keep his state?

Again i feel tears coming but I blink them away. I have to be strong. For him. For us.

When I got into that hospital everybody's looking at me like I'm crazy or something like that. But even if they know my name they can't know what just happens in my life. They will probably never know it though. It's not their business. I ignore them and run to the elevator but there are so many people here. I can't wait. I just can't. I was away long enough.

So I run the stairs up to the first floor. I go a little bit looking for his room. Room 102. Not wide away actually. Fortunately.

Before I go in I take a few short breaths and knock on the door. Without listening to any 'Come In' I just step in and watch three doctors talking to Liam.

I watch them quietly. When they notice me, I get greeted totally friendly. I give them a fake smile and look to Louis. He's still in that bed. But he's sleeping. Again. No. No. No.

My eyes widen and I turn around.

"Why does he sleep? Is he okay? Is he in coma ? Please don't let him be in coma, again! Any of you, please tell me Louis is alright!!!"

One of the doctors is smiling at me friendly. Oh, how I would want to get his smile out of his face. How can he smile like that. 

"Mr. Styles, calm down, please. Mr. Tomlinson is just sleeping and yes he's alright! Just taking a little nap!"

A rock gets off my heart. Thank you, god!!

"But he still can't remember me?!"

His nice smile fades away and he frowns. No. NO! NO! NO! So he doesn´t. Well, there goes my hope. 

"Mr. Styles?! You have to listen to me now, okay?!.."

I watch him curiously and nod.

"The cause of why he can't remember anything is probably from the coma. He has amnesia.."

"What?! He has what?!"

"Shhh.. He just can't remember things.. but it will come back. Eventually. He didn't have any brain injuries! So it won't be that long. I basically dont see any problem about him getting his full memory back. It will come back."

That information doesn't make me feel good. I feel quite dizzy and sit down at the stool I was sitting the last days.

Amnesia. My baby has amnesia. That can't be true. That has to be a fucking nightmare. I planned on proposing to him after he would wake up. But he can't remember us. So, it wouldn´t really make sense to propose. I bite my lips and look down on the floor. I won´t cry again. Nope, not at all. Fuck my life. When you for once find someone who you love and who loves you back and then this happens. Wonderful. How should I be able to help him? He doesn´t remember me, us. Does he remember his family? His childhood? God, poor Louis!!!!

"Harry?! Please say something !"

I look into Liam's concerned face. But I´m feeling so empty right now. I feel like sinking into a black hole. 

"The doctors went out! Say whatever you want. Scream as loud as you want. Or hit me. Do whatever you want. But please dont fall apart. Dont. Please. You have to be strong for Louis. You waited so many days and nights for him to wake up, so you will be able to do this. Im here for you too!!"

"What if he will never remember me again?"

"Don't ever think that again! He will, okay?!"

I simple shrug and look to Louis. He looks so innocent and peaceful. If we'd be at home and he would remember us, I'd actually would call it cute. But now it just breaks my heart into millions of pieces.

How lost would you feel without being able to memorize your past?! Does Louis even know his name?!

I look back at Liam who is now sitting next to me.

"Liam?!!

"Yeah, Harry?"

"What did the doctor mean with he remembers nothing?!"

"It's like all of his memory got deleted or put into another place .."

"Does he know his biography ?! Name, birthday ...??"

"No.. That's another reason why I phoned you. Even though he can't remember us, he needs us. His friends! And as you know, Zayn and Niall are coming tomorrow because they are still in America. You don't trust Louis' friends, so it's better we do everything we can.."

"They aren't good for him!!"

"Harry, come down! I didn't call them, okay?! And his family is still shocked of the accident.. I wasn't .. strong enough to call Jay.. She has to be here for Ernest and Doris.. She already has enough stress.."

I nod and hug Liam.

"You know that I really appreciate what you do, Liam?! I wouldn't have been able to do this.."

"I know, Harry.. That's why I did it! It's nothing.."

"You're one of the best mates a guy could have!!"


	2. chapter 2

Harry PoV

On the next day I wake up in a white bed. I look out of a window and see a few mountains wide away from here. But it's quite beautiful, I guess. If I felt better, I would snap a picture of them. It takes me a little bit to remember where I am but I dont know it. But then one word comes to my mind which makes me literally jump out of my bed to look where I am.

Louis.

But in the moment I am on the ground and look through the room I see that Louis' bed is exactly next to mine. I exhale and sit down on that bed again. 

How did they get the bed in here?

Louis had a single room the last weeks. I know it because they always said that they can't give another bed in here. Now they did?! They always said that I wasn´t allowed to sleep next to him and that they can´t get another bed in here anyways. Oh how I love hospitals and doctors. Okay, .. really nice but at least I had a good sleep. I didn't sleep since Louis had that accident to be honest. I always got nightmares. Imaging what exactly happened on that day but the only person who could know it would be Louis. And the driver who crashed into him, but we don't know who he was. Nor we know which car he drove etc. And Louis can't remember anything. That monster just drove away and left him. He could have died, for fucks sake! Because of that idiot someone so pure won´t remember the people he loves for a while. He won´t remember his family. Such shit. Why does it have to happen to Louis? Louis always gives so much to other people. He does so much charity and spends so much time with our fans..

I look at my boyfriend. He's so beautiful. His hair. His nose. Even the way he's breathing right now makes my heart flutter. It's crazy. It´s cray to think what such a little fight can end in. We could be engaged by now. I have to get back my boyfriend but for that I have to help him getting back his memory. However this will look like though. I mean, I could like tell him everything but that seems wrong somehow. I could give him my old diary but that would be weird as he doesn´t know some thoughts in there. He doesn´t know of the nicknames I had of him before we got together. He knew that I was in love with him but not of my day dreams. Not that I started to write songs about him already in 2010. He shouldn´t get those informations, they aren´t important enough. He should be able to get his memories of certain moments back, not the way I saw and lived them.

What should we tell our fans? Will they give him enough privacy ? God, he doesn´t even know that we´re a band, to start with. So, our fans will scare him. Paparazzi will stress and scare him. My poor boy.

 

 

Louis PoV

As soon as I wake up I look through that white room. It's really white. No pictures or paintings. Only white walls. On the left site of my bed is the door, not straight next to do it but bot that wide away neither. When I look to the right I see the boy from yesterday starring at me. Curly hair. Those eyes. I know them. I guess from yesterday.

"Morning, mate.."

"Good morning.. I'm Harry.."

"Okay..Hi, Harry.."

"Do you know already your name? Or should I help you?"

He's giving me a cheeky smile, which makes me a little blush. But why is that boy making me blush? I am straight! Or not? I dont know. I shake my head and I feel how Harry is feeling a little bit sad. But how can he get sad of a boy he doesn't know? Such a mess.

"Please, tell me my name, Harry.."

I smile a little bit at him.

"Louis. Your name is Louis. Louis Tomlinson."

"Louis. .. Louis.. cool name"

Harry blushes and looks away. Okay? How should I be able to understand that?!

"Harry? Can I ask you something?"

He looks at me and furrows a brow.

"Whatever you want..love"

I can't really understand the last word he said. Was it really love? Can't be. Harry looks more like a womanizer to me than a gay boy. My head is gaining more and more a red colour. I breath slowly in and out and look again at him.

"Why are you here? How do you know me? Why am I here? Why can't I remember anything?"

"Hold on, Louis.. That's more than one question and I don't think that so much information would be good for you.."

He's grinning at me. God, why does he make so nervous. I just woke up from a coma yesterday and get to know him. Plus I don't know which sexuality I have.. I don´t anything. Only that my names is apparently Louis and that everything hurts.

"Okay.. But I am allowed to ask one question? Okay?!"

He laughs and nods immediately.

"How do you know me? I mean you where here before I woke up yesterday and today too. You have to know me.."

I look him straight in the eyes and see how he tries to blink away some tears. If I didn't hang on that many medications, I would immediately hug him. But I can't. And in some ways it hurts me, like really really hurts me. I don´t know why. I just don´t want him to feel sad.

"Harry?! Please dont cry.. What's going on..?"

"I .. We met 4 years ago.."

"So we are like best friends?!"

His tears are getting bigger and I dont know how to stop them.

"Harry, Please tell me.. What's wrong?"

"I can't.. BooBear.. I don't know what would happen if I told you. You just woke up from coma and lost your memory..."

"What's a BooBear ? If you say so?! But you will tell me soon?!"

He nods and a little smile grows in his face.

"Your mum used to call you it when you where a child. It's your nickname.."

My mum. Where is she?

"Harry? Where is my mum?! I want to know who my mother is, how she looks like.. Do I have siblings ?!"

Harry starts again to laugh. Wow. Friendly. Very, very friendly to make fun of a guy who can´t even remember where he ´s coming from. I thought he liked me? At least, that´s what it looked like... till he made fun of me.

"Come down, Louis. Your mum isn't here and to tell you the truth she doesn't know that you woke up already.."

"Why not?! She's my mum, she has to know that!!"

"I know I know but on that day you fall into coma she was so sad and if I would tell her that you can't remember her.. She would be as sad as I am.. Plus she has to look after her kids, your siblings.. there quite a thing to handle."

"Ohhh.. alright.. How many siblings do I have?"

"Six. Five girls and one boy."

"Wow.."


	3. Chapter 3

Harry PoV

I look at Louis' fascinated face. He seems to like the fact to have so much siblings. Well, I totally understand this. He might have lost his memory but that doesn´t change his heart. Does it? He´s still the same Louis, just with lack of his memory. Sure, he liked his family. And he will love them when he sees them again! And Doris and Ernest are his angels. Always were ! From the first second on. He likes little kids so much. Especially babies. He always asked me when we could adopt a baby. But we couldn't just adopt a kid. Firstly we aren't married. Secondly how should we explain this to management and especially to fans. Final point, we don't have enough time for such little kids and they need their parents. So we decided to wait. To wait till we´re older, settled and have a little break from everything. Well, we shouldn´t have wait if I think about this now. But I shouldn´t think about what we´ve could have done differently to prevent this to happen. 

Will we ever be able to adopt a kid?! Will I ever be able to hold him again? Will he love me again?

I sigh.

"Everything okay, Harry?!"

Louis looks at me sadly as if he would know that he´s kind of the cause of my sadness. Okay, I might be sad because of his amnesia. But Louis hadn't done anything wrong. I am guilty for his accident. I told him to go away from me. I am the reason he had that accident. Not Louis. So, he shouldn´t look like that. He shouldn´t have had that accident. He doesn´t deserve to look so innocent in this white bed. He looks so much smaller in it. So fragile. And he´s so pale,too. Normally he is tan but the lack of sun and being out and obviously him not being good right now don´t do his body well. He hates to be pale. That´s why he´s always out in the sun. He enjoys going into parks so much. I swallow those thoughts down, okay I try to. I just want my old Louis and old life back. I hate this hospital so much and the person who did this to my precious boy. And what I hate the most is me.

"Harry?! Talk to me. I can try to help you. I want you to be happy.."

I fake him a little smile and look immediately away.

"Everything is all right."

"I don't think so.. I might not remember you, but I .. I don't know.. I have like a feeling when you are lying or when you are sad.. I don't know why.. So tell me, what's wrong.. Is it because of my lost memory ?!"

I nod but still don't look at him. His beautiful eyes.. His lips I want to kiss right now.. I can't look at this beautiful boy. I just can't. It's hard enough to speak to him. But looking at him without having the consent to touch him just breaks my heart. I can´t hug him without freaking him out. I can´t kiss him. Can´t cuddle him. Can´t show him my love.

"Harry?"

"What?!"

"Do you hate me?!"

I immediately look at him. That quite shocked me. How can he say that?! I would never be able to hate him. Never.

"What?!"

"You know. Because of my amnesia thing.."

I sit up and take Louis´ face in my hands even though I feel like I shouldn´t. I cup his face in my hands.

"You have to listen now Louis okay?! I would never ever hate you!! Why should I hate you? You aren't guilty of that mess.."

"But you are so strange.. towards me. Once you are totally like i dont know my boyfriend or something like that and in the other second you are totally ignoring me.. Which kind of relationship did we have?! Tell me! I dont care if it will be bad to me!"

"Louis.. I.."

The door opens and the doctor entries the room.

"Goodmorning, boys"

We both simple just nod and fake him a smile. Like he doesn't interrupt our conversation..

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling quite well actually.."

"Really? Good. Did any memories come back?"

Louis shakes his head.

"Do you know any personal things like your name ?!"

"Yeah, I know my name. Louis Tomlinson. And that I have quite a lot siblings. But that's all.."

"That's great!! How did you remember that so fast??"

Louis looks to me and than to the ground.

"Ermm.. I asked Harry to tell the truth.. But don't be mad at him. I wanted it to know so bad.."

The man standing next to Louis' bed begins to laugh.

"I won't be mad at him. When it isn't too much for you, he did a good job at telling you. You have to decide if you want to get your memory back on your own or not. But to find it out at your own would be better.."

"Why?!"

"Because it would be like step by step and if Harry would tell you only a few things it wouldn't help either. Plus I hope he doesn't tell you things that aren't true.. Well, I will come back later. If you need something, just scream.. or simple call me or another doctor.

Louis nods. The doctor goes out and we're again -finally- alone.

"So, Harry??"

"Hmm?"

"I want you to tell me my story and our story of course.. I want to know everything!!"

"Really?! Everything?!"

"Yeah, Harry. Everything!"

"Okay."


	4. Chapter 4

Louis is eying me interested. He really wants to know the truth and seems to trust me. Like really trust me. I mean, come on. Would you trust anyone w´hen you lost your memory? I inhale one more time before I start to tell him everything- really everything. Which is kind of much, but I try to sum up all those four years.

"The really really first time we met was at a The Script concert. It was only eye contact and a little chat. You were there with your girlfriend."

"What was her name?"

I stare at him confused.

"Hannah.. Emm... But she wasn´t really interested in the music, nor in you as you found out later. But you loved the music. I think you´d still like The Script now. Yeah.. A few years later we both auditioned for the X-Factor. 2010. "

"I can sing?!"

I laugh loudly. He's quite cute like a little child who wants to know about him.

"Yes, Louis. You're a wonderful singer!! So,so good!!!! Well, we both met at the audition but didn't came through. But somehow we always crossed ways there and .. talked to each other. Then there were three more really talented boys that couldn't come through next to us. Niall Horan, Liam Payne and Zayn Malik. Simon Cowell had a quite interesting idea. He mixed us five and some other people to two groups. One girl group and one boy group. The boy group are obviously the band of us five.."

"Do we have a name?!"

"Yeah, Louis.. Our name is One Direction."

He smiles and repeats it many times.

"Sounds familiar.. That Liam is the boy you wanted to hit yesterday, right?!"

I nod and blush a bit. It´s weird that the first thing he saw while waking up is my trying to hit Liam. I´d never harm a fly, to be honest, but Liam got me so mad. Í´m just protective over Louis and what he said was simply just wrong.

"Why did you want to hit him?"

"He said that you wouldn't wake up.."

"That's why you hit him? Really?!"

He chuckles and give me a sign with his hand to continue.

"Well, we had a really good time at the X-Factor.. "

"Did anything happen?! I dont know, something special?"

I look to the ground and blush.

"Do you really want to know it? Would you believe me?"

He nods.

"Come to me, Harry.. I believe you.."

I sit on his bed on the upper part next to his feet.

"So, on the first day we moved in there .. there were two separated beds but I.. I kinda missed my family and you told me to come to your bed just like now. You were smiling understanding at me. You didn´t laugh at me. I was just so young, you know? I tried not to cry and all that but you just knew that I wasn´t ok. So; I came to your bed.. Well after some tickle fights which were making me feel so much better and you hitting me with a pillow, you kissed me and since than we're together.."

He looks at me like he wouldn't believe but nods. But I think he´s blushing a bit. 

"What's with that the X-Factor?! Did we win?"

"Nah, we got third place actually. But that wasn't the end of One Direction .. In five months we will release our fourth album and our third fragrance. Because of your accident we had to cancel our stadium tour.. But they will released though I think because of the sales blah blah. The show must go on blah blah. I´m lucky that we could cancel the tour. I´d rather be here."

"Woooow .. How popular are we?!"

"Quite.. Some say we're the biggest boy band of this century.. but we also have haters.."

"Because of our relationship ?"

"Nobody really knows about us.. They kinda think we are but it isn't official.. "

"Ohhh.. okay.."

And here again is this face I´m not so sure about. He looks like fine with my answer - all smiley- but deep-down I have a feeling that he doesn´t believe me.


	5. Chapter 5

Louis PoV

 

All these informations are quite.. well interesting. I mean I am in a popular band which seems like a dream to be honest. I can sing! I feel so cool, right now. I have a boyfriend. Well that's something I don't know what to think about but I'll have to live with it. I´ll have to believe Harry because he´s the only person I want to believe, right now. He seems like I can trust him. Especially make his tears and his sad faces so much sense if he really is my boyfriend.

Do I have other skills? I don't know which. Maybe I'm a good biker or something like that..

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Do I have any abilities?"

He smiles and nods.

"Yes Louis. Where should I begin... You are a really good footballer and actor. You like to help poor children. You can draw. And you're good in .. bed.."

The last words is whispered and Harry is red like a tomato. I don't know if I wanted to know that. Like sure, it´s good to know but I didn´t want to hear it right now.

"Actor, singer and footballer .. wow. That's crazy.."

"You are a great multitalent! That's why I fell in love with you.."

He looks away and I see how tears are running down his face. That makes me want to hurt myself, somehow. Harry seems to be such a nice person and I am the reason he's crying. e´s so worried about me and all I can do is make him cry. I sit up without doing anything to my medications and ignoring my pain and hug him.

"I'm so sorry, Harry.."

He quits our hug and looks at me irritated.

"Why are you sorry?! It's not your fault you lost your memory.."

"What do you mean?! How did I get here?!"

He sighs.

"It was an Friday night.. We had the last concert here in London of our tour. The last UK concert of our tour, actually. The show was great but-"

"May I interrupt you, Harry?!"

"Of course."

"Which stadium?!

"Wembley .."

"Sick.. Omg .. Ehhh sorry.. Pls continue.."

"It's alright, love.. After that concert I got home earlier. I made a wonderful dinner for us two. You had a longer conversation with our management because of some things that happened that week.. and our relationship again.."

"What happened?!"

"You refused to go on a date with Eleanor.."

"Who's that? Why do I have to date her when we are together?!"

"Management thinks if you have a girlfriend people would stop to think we are together.."

"Weird.."

"I know, I know.. When you came home you were totally sad but also mad at mad at me. You didn't even see what I had planned to do this night.. the romantic dinner and other things I wanted to do or ask you.. well we got into a fight because you told me about an offer our management gave you.."

"Which offer?!"

"They told you, we have two options.. You are marrying Eleanor and management will leave us alone.. or that we will have to leave the band .. Oh there was also another offer but you didn't even tell me it.. yeah I dont know why we were even fighting.. I think you wanted to stay in the band and I was calling you names because you would consider marrying that, that bitch .. rather than me. I told you that if you marry this girl, I would never speak to you again and other things.. I knew it wouldn't be like a real marriage, just a staged one but even the thought of her telling you 'Yes, I want' made me to scream and shout.. One thing led to another and I told you to leave me alone and you took your car and drove away. I dont know the part inbetween but three hours later a fan called the ambulance and the police because she found you in your crushed car.. "

Somewhere in the middle I had to hug him as he was crying so hard.

"I'm so sorry, Louis!"

I shake my head.

"You're not guilty of that okay?! I don't know what happened but I'm the person who.."

"No, Louis.. Don't you understand?! If I weren't screaming to you , you could remember me now. We could be sitting in the plane to a city of our tour. I'm such an idiot and not worth being your boyfriend.. We could be so happy right now, I´m the reason you almost died!!!!"

"Shut up, Styles!"

"What did you just say?"

"I.. I'm sorry.. I didn't want to"

"No no no, please repeat it!!"

"Shut up, Styles?! Why?!"

"You remembered my name!!"

"What?!"

"You randomly remembered my last name!! God Louis , I'm so proud!!"


	6. Chapter 6

Louis PoV

The next five days went by really quickly. Harry never left me and was always there. I didn't remember anything in those days. Unfortunately. Yesterday four boys visited me. Calum, Michael, Luke and Ashton. They are apparently good friends of ours and seem to be quite cool. Niall, Zayn and Liam visited me too. Every day twice. I like them. Sure, like Harry told me they are like brothers to me. Harry is still so nice and supportive. Even though I can feel how much all this hurts him. It really does. Obviously, I seem to be the love of his life and I can't really remember me or him. He barely eats and only smiles when we're talking. We are talking much but for example yesterday night he thought I was sleeping and had a quite sad conversation with one of the boys I guess.

 

*Throw Back

Today was quite a long day. So many visitors and so many health checks. Ughh . But I can't sleep though. And Harry seems to need a bit of a rest so I let him be and decided to try to sleep though. I don´t end up sleeping but I pretend to be. I just close my eyes and shut up. So, he can relax a bit and stop worrying for a second. I mean I know he won´t but there´s still hope.

"Hello? Liam?"

I still keep looking in the other direction of the bed. Acting like I'm asleep right now.

"Yeah, it's everything alright with Lou.. I just.. needed someone to talk to.."

A little silence. Liam is probably talking right now.

"He's asleep, Liam. I can't wake him up. He looks so cute at the moment.So at peace. Plus I need someone to talk about him.."

What?! Does he stopped liking me or what? Or did he lie to me about us being a couple ?

"Look Liam.. Every fucking day I do so much to help him remember me.. the video diaries, our songs, our matching tattoos, pictures, selfies but nothing helps.. I dont know if I can do that. Is it even worth being here when he can't remember me?!"

He inhales. I can hear how he must be messed up inside and I am guilty of that. I am the cause of that cute boy being so upset.

"Liam, he can't remember me.. No.you dont seem to understand this!! He- LOUIS CAN'T REMEMBER ME- HIS BOYFRIEND ! What should I do with that ring?"

Which ring? Did he want to.. oh.. cute. Little tears are streaming down my face. A little sigh slips out of my lips and Harry immediately springs out of his bed.

"Louis?! Everything okay? Do you have pain? Why are you crying?"

I blush a little as I turned around because he started talking to me.

"Harry, I didn't want .."

"Liam, we will talk later.."

Harry sits down my bed and takes my hands in his. Not like the last day I feel something. Comfort. The need to kiss him. But I don't know why. I know that we were together before the thing that happened to me but it just feels so strange.

"Are you alright, Louis? You are crying!! Do you have pain? Does anything hurt?"

He looks at me worried. I quickly nod and swipe away those tears which still are running down my cheeks.

"You don't look like that.. Please tell me. You can trust me.. You always could. Louis what's wrong?!"

"I heard it.."

He stares at me confused.

"You heard what?!"

"Your convo with Liam.. I'm so.sorry I didn't want to.. I just couldn't sleep and I.."

He swallowed. A little red growing in his face.

"It's okay.. "

"No, it isn't! I can see how hard it is for you to be here. How hard are you struggling with yourself. I can feel and see it in your eyes how much you love and miss me inside. I feel so sorry, I'm such a mess.. That fan shouldn't have found me."

Harry's eyes are widening and even I am looking in shock. What did I just say? I don't want to die. I want to be able to get all my memories and feelings towards Harry back.

"Don't say that Louis.."

He lays down next to me and cuddles me.

"Please, Louis. Never again."

I nod.

"I didn't mean it, it just came out of my mouth.. I'm so sorry Harry."

"Shhh.. It's okay!"

After some minutes of silence he's asleep. I start playing with his cute curls. How I love them!

And while I am playing with them i fall asleep too.

 

~

We have three options. Three. But none of them are really convincing.

\- Me marrying Eleanor and staying in the band. We will never come out.

\- Leaving the band. But before that we would get so much bad publicity that no one would actually like to listen to our music and I know how important music is to Harry. So this option is as stupid as the first.

-I don't quite understand this one. I would have to be together with Eleanor. (like now) But every time there will pop up Larry pics or even only edits something bad will happen. Like one concert gets cancelled. I am not quite sure if I really heard that but one of our managers said that even something bad would happen to our families if we could keep staying together.

So they practically forcing us to get straight or what?! That's so inhuman! I love Harry and Harry loves me. That's normal. Only because they dont think that they are not allowed to trying us to get us apart. Did we ever said anything against their wifes ? Or their daughters which are sleeping with every boy they see? No!!

Ughhh.. My life is just so hard at the moment. I hate it.

I open the door. Finally I am home. Able to go to bed. Able to relax. Able to be with the person I actually love. Okay being together with Harry is the most important bit but I just can't stand people today. That's why I am trying to get into our room without Harry hearing me. But when I put my shoes to his he immediately hugged me.

"Hey, love"

"Hi."

Harry quits the hug and looks at me confused. He still pets me softly.

"Everything alright, babe? How went the talking with our 'wonderful' management?"

I sigh and tell him about the first two options.

"What the hell?! Are they crazy? "

I shrug. I'm just to tired right now to discuss this.

"Are you even understanding what that would mean?! Did you chose one option already?"

"No, Harry.. but I kinda thought of taking the first..I don't .."

"Are you fucking stupid, Louis?!!"

I never saw Harry being that furious. Never. Especially not to me. He´s usually such a peaceful bean. But I guess I can understand him. 

"I don't let you marry her! You know how much she loves you! She will take the.."

"Harry I just want to be able to love. I don't care if I am officially married to her. It wouldn't be a real marriage though. Just for the publicity.."

"I never thought you could be that of an ass.. Louis, I don't wanna lose you!"

"I know that, Harold !! But that's the only option we have!"

"No, it isn't! "

I shake my head. How can Harry be so narrow-minded? I know that those options are mean! But I want to stay in the band. For my sake, for Harry´s sake and for the sake of Liam, Niall and Zayn.

"We can't do everything what they want us to do! Can't you understand that Louis?!!"

"But if they.."

"No fucking if!!"

"Let me just.."

"No!! I don't wanna talk about that anymore!"

"But we have to! They want an answer tomorrow !! "

"Shut up, Tomlinson. I don't care what they want anymore!"

"We have a fucking contract , we basically have to.."

"But they treat us like animals.. "

I stay silence. I don't need to talk anymore. I don´t want to fight. Not today.

"What do you want to tell them tomorrow ?!"

I shrug and look in his eyes. They are terrible dark and a bit red. He probably just stopped crying. Why didn't I hear it?! Why didn´t I see it?

"The first though.."

"I'm sorry, Louis.. but if you really cconsider marrying her I want you to leave now! Bye!!"

Rage is talking over me. How can he talk to me like that? It's my house. But okay. I will leave. I have to get away from here now though. I take my keys and my converse. After I go out I bang the door behind myself. I run to my car and start to drive through London. I drive out of that lovely city but end up driving back.

Suddenly I see a quite light coming into my direction...

~~~

"NOOOOOOOO "

Harry falls out of the bed and looks at me in shock. 

"What happened Louis?!"

I watch him getting up and coming back to that not very convenient bed. He hugs me and tries to calm me down with petting my back.

"I.. I had a nightmare.."

"Oh.."

"Of that day.. the day of my accident.."

My words are broken whispers but he understands them. He looks shocked but proud, too. If you can have both emotions at once, though.


	7. Chapter 7

Harry PoV

 

The tired part of me can't understand what he said right now. He remembers that day. Which .... ohhh that day. I lay down next to him and the first thing I do is hugging him. I pet his back like I did before his accident whenever he was upset. I feel how much Louis is crying. My shirt is wet from his tears. This poor angel. I hate him being sad. But when I look into his face I see him smiling at me.

"Harry?"

I furrow my eyes. He's watching me in a creepy way. Way to creepy. But I can't really say if I like it or not.

"Yeah?"

He blushes and hugs me again. He sits his chin on my shoulder and kisses my neck. He makes a short rest there and starts to laugh.

"I love you."

"What did you just say?!"

I'm a little bit shocked to be honest but so happy.

"I love you."

He kisses from my neck nearly to my mouth. Before he really kisses me he smiles at me. Tears in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry. It took me way too long. But I will never leave you, Harry. Never. I love you so much! Even though I can´t remember that much. I juts know? I´ve felt something all the damn time but wasn´t sure what"

He kisses me gentle and after it he presses his forehead against mine. I have the biggest smile on my face I ever had. Really. He makes me so happy. I love him.

"I missed you so much, Lou."

"I missed having memories of us..even if they are just small ones."

He hugs me again. But suddenly he sits up straight and eyes me seriously.

"Is everything okay, love?"

I am kind of afraid what he will say. He's not often that serious. I mean he's Louis, seriousness is not even a proper option for him but okay.. It never was!!!

"That day.. We had a fight.."

I furrow my eyebrows. I know that but what does he want to say with that?

"Yeah?!"

"About me marrying that not-so-real girlfriend.."

"Louis you just got your memory back.. in between.. everything or just partly?"

"I´m not so sure."

"Ohhh.. okay.. Ermmm.. Where were I?! Oh yes.. you should calm down.. everything will turn.."

"Harry, I have an idea.."

"Which is?!"

"I will pretend that I still can't remember us.."

My breathing stops. What does he want to do? Saying that we aren't together or what?

"But you'll have to tell the nurses and the.."

"I don't have to.. I can say that I can't remember persons.. but all other things.. Ohhh.. I don't remember everything so it won't work out.."

He sighs and smiles at me apologetical.

"Forget it, Haz.."

His idea might seem good but it isn't practical possible. It wouldn't work out.

"But we'll find a solution with the management ok?!"

He simple nods and a little yawn comes out of his mouth. He watches me one more time and gives me one kiss. Than he lays down and cuddles me.

"I love you, Harry"

Than he's already snoring. Even that is cute on him. Everything is. His laugh. His eyes. His jokes. His hair. His blue eyes. Everything. And I'm the lucky one to call myself his.


	8. Chapter 8

Harry PoV

 

After some hours of sleep I randomly woke up. Like I was meant to. But nothing special happens right now. It´s just that type of waking up when it´s too early to actually be awake again and normal people will fall asleep again. But sadly, I´m not like that. As I´m used to stay awake long, I just can´t fall sleep again when waking up again. Because it kinda feels like I have to be awake. I take my phone and unlock it. Almost gagging at the time.

5:35 am

Holy crap. Waking up on that time isn't legal. It can't be. But as I know me and my body, I wouldn't be able to sleep again. It´s almost morning. It doesn´t even make sense to fall asleep again. So I go through my twitter. I read though their tweets. Some nice. Some really really rude ones.

 

@I_LoVe_ReDiReCtIoN_2010:

I hope Louis won't wake up..

 

So they don't know that he's already awake?! The anger in me has to answer her but not in the nice manner I would normally do it.

 

You don't seem like a real fan then.. Louis is a very important part of the band!

 

Adding another one.

 

He's already awake by the way. Tbh, I would never like to meet 'fans' like you..

 

After those tweets of mine the whole community is going crazy. Almost everyone's asking how Louis is or when he woke up. But there are also some who think I was a little bit to rude. What's rude about that?! She or he like said that they wanted Louis dead. What's that?! Polite or what?! I just answer on their politeness level, so there shouldn´t be people saying that I was the only rude person. The actual fuck, even if Louis isn´t my official love! He´s still my friend and I have to protect him! I would also get offended when they said something like that about the other boys. Not as much, obviously. But my reaction would still be the same. God, I´m so mad.

I go through all those tweets our fans are sending at the moment. And I find one that it's just ridiculous. The girl who wanted Louis dead and never to wake up is spamming me to follow her. Does she really think that I would ever do that?! I tweet under one of her 'Harry I Love you sooo much would you please follow me' tweets this:

 

You don't deserve it. Never.

 

I send it and after that I immediately block her. Okay that might seems mean but after all of that waiting on Louis waking up and he losing his memory, I couldn't see any humour or anything to ignore in it. I had to do it.

I'm still on her account as she tells the whole world what just happened. Like just from her point of view. Naturally, viewing herself as the victim. The poor, poor victim. Such a bitch! I snort. Really? Does she really think that?! Can she believe herself this lie?

 

I didn't do anything against Harry! What an arsehole!!

 

I shake my head. If Louis doesn't sleep right now, I would probably burst out in laughter. Such a stupid bitch.

 

I hope that the same what happened to Louis would happen to Mr. I'm-to-cool-for-his-fans Styles.

 

So she wants me to have a car accident and lose all my memory? Wow. That was.. well.. that kinda hurt but do I care what she said? Nah, not really. Because she isn´t a real fan and her opinion doesn´t count. Never could. 

After that I log out and see how Louis is watching me ...shocked? Or does it only seem like it because he's so sleepy?

"Good morning, Lou."

I kiss him. Happy to being able to do it again after all that mess. It calms me a bit.

"Morning, Harry.. Ermh.. Haz??"

Now he looks a little bit confused.

"Hmm?"

"Why did that person's account you were looking on hating on you?"

I blush and look away from his gaze.

"Ehhh.. She was hating on you, so I gave it a little bit back on her.. and blocked her.. that's practically why.."

He shakes his head and laughs.

"Really? Really? You didn't have to do that.."

"Yes, I had!! She said that you.."

"What did that girl say?"

A little stutter overcomes me. I hate to stutter but it kinda just comes out of my mouth.

"She...s-he saidd .. thatt youuu shouldn't..."

He's grinning at me and about to laugh at me. Nice, very nice..

"have woken up."

His smile fades and he's totally pale. Shit.

"Ww-what?!"

A little tear falls down his cheek.

"She's so wrong, Louis. Don't listen to such people.. I love you and I am so happy that you are awake and can finally remember me. Please don't cry because of such cunts!!!"

Again he shakes his head and tries to breath.

"Why are you awake now?! I mean how late is it? Midnight?!"

I look on my phone and shake my head laughing.

"It's 6:10 am. And I couldn't sleep. I think that I felt it."

"Felt what?!"

"That this bitch was hating on you.. My heart wanted me to protect you and do them dirty."

He kisses me again but falls asleep immediately after it. And even though I never excepted it to happen I'm also able to fall asleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed how short the chapters are which is weird bc I usually don´t like that. But 2014- me didn´t see it like that somehow... anyway I wanted to say that my writing style changed too over those years (like 2 1/2 are so much but anyways..)
> 
> My english got better too but id like to know what you think about the story? Because on my notes on wattpad I wrote back then how I was insecure about writing it (because my english teacher didn´t like my english) and it makes me wonder if the story is ok? Like not only the story line but also that my sentences are understandable?? 
> 
> ty xx


	9. Chapter 9

Harry PoV

 

Even though my body isn´t used to do so, I actually fell asleep again. And this fact truly weirds me out. Because it really isn´t me. But I suppose it´s because of the lack of sleep I had since the accident. I turn on my phone to see the time.

8:56 am

Wow, that´s quite much that I slept more. It's nearly nine. That means the doctors would come here in 19 minutes. Depends on how many other patients are before Louis and how difficult their cases are. Should I wake him up, already? He looks so cute and like he hasn't any problems. So peaceful and adorable. I will wake him up shortly before they come. I stand up and stretch my arms. The next thing I do is opening the window. Why? Not only because it's really hot in here but also because Louis likes it when the wind blows through the windows. He once said it. I think it was while we had our first tour and since then I make it every day. At least, every night we are able to stay with each other. Even though I can't feel any wind or that anything changes while / after opening the window, I keep doing it to please him. I know it´s weird and probably was harmful for him but I even did this while he was in coma. Obviously not long but a few minutes. The doctors said that he noticed such small things and that´ it´s important. So, I did this. I look out of the window. You can see an old woman walk her dog. I don't hope that they would come in the hospital. I mean I like dogs but I don't think that Louis would like the noise of it. How pathetic I am. Being scared that a barking dog somewhere in the hospital could go on Louis´nerves. Are dogs allowed in here, though? I simply want Louis to feel beyond good. So I have to look what could make him feel comfortable and what not. Luckily the woman walks to another house of the hospital. I sigh and simple just stare out of the window. Looking at the few trees and those many cars. Which makes me sad. Sure, cars are important in our world but there´s barely nature here. 

When I hear someone yawning, I quickly turn around because I forgot that I wasn´t alone here.

"Morning, Haz.."

"Morning, Lou.. Did you have a good sleep?!"

He nods and looks to the open window. A big smile grows on his face.

"I like that."

"What?"

"The open window. The fresh air coming in, it´s quite calming and so nice. I liked it too, before my accident, didn´t I?! But you... You didn´t- You still don´t seem not to like it as much as I am. Why did you open it? You don´t have to do something you you don´t like that much."

I shake my head and show him an even bigger smile while I am coming to him.

"It's okay.. I had a nice view.."

"Oh.."

Louis looks at me in a way I don´t think I´ve seen him before. At least, not that much. He's jealous. I sit down on his bed and try to touch his arm but he jerks it away. A loud laugh comes out my mouth.

"Louis, c'mon. Do you really think I would look at other boys?! I have you and I love you.. "

"Women.."

I shake my head in disbelief.

"Really?! I'm gay. You know that. I don't look at women. Only to be polite. Not more.."

"And what was your nice view?! A pigeon?!"

"Nah, I just looked what's going on outside. I wanted to tease you.. "

"Hahaha.."

I look at my phone and then back to Louis.

9:14

"As the doctors will come soon.. Should I get you something from the cafeteria or from a shop?!"

A worried look stares right at me. 

"You won't stay?!"

I blush and shrug.

"I thought you don't want me to stay so I thought I could make something useful and get you something you want.."

He smiles, shakes his head and takes my hand.

"Please stay!!"

His eyes are looking through the whole room and are like ignoring me.

I take his face in both of my hands and make him look at me. 

"Why do you want that?"

"Because I love you and don't want to be alone with them.."

"They are really nice, Louis...I.dunno what's-"

"I don't like them. They treat my like a baby!!"

He shrugs his arms and looks at me like a little kid would do if it doesn't get the candy, it wanted. I smile. Definitely doesn´t act like a little kid, nope. He´s so adorable.

"Then don't act like one, love."

I kiss him and right in that moment we both hear a knock on the door. We immediately get away from each other, both of us having red cheeks. I look at him with a little grin. Without listening to our 'Come In' two doctors come in.

"Good morning, Mr. Tomlinson! How are you feeling?"

I get up and sit down on my bed. Watching Louis. He's really like a kid. You can see how much he hates to be in a hospital and I totally understand it. He should be home with me. We should be cuddled up and watching Disney shows.

"'M fine."

"Can I ask you some questions again before I look at your physical fitness and health?!"

He nods and looks to me. Worried? Confused? Maybe both. I can see how much he wants to be closer to me right now, he´s struggling not to jump out of this bed and into my arms. He starts playing with his fingers nervously. 

"What's your name?"

He sighs.

"Louis William Tomlinson."

The doctor simple nods without saying anything to the progress Louis made.

"Birthdate?!"

Louis furrows his brows and shrugs.

"Ermh.. I think 1991 or 1992. Somewhere on the end of the year.."

"Okay. Your 'relation status'?"

We both blush and Louis begins a little bit to stutter.

"I'm taken."

"Her name is?!"

I begin to cough loudly. But not long. Not long enough. The doctor didn't get suspicious. But I can see how much Louis hates this question and how he actually has to answer it. Such a bullshit life we´re living. He should be able to say who he really loves! That girls hasn´t even visited it, yet!

"Eleanor."

I look away, pissed at management and kind of hurt. Of course, Louis doesn´t want to say this but it still hurts to hear it coming out of his mouth. So much. He should say Harry. My name! Not hers!

"Really great, your job?"

"Singer and football player, I think."

"Last question. What happened on the day you got your injury. You don't have to answer that but it would help to be honest."

Louis tells the doctor everything from where he left his house angrily after some problems which he doesn't talk about to the light of a car crashing into his.

I'm feeling a little bit bad, again. If I didn't tell him to leave we would be in Paris or Madrid now. A tear rolls down my face and I look to the window so no one can see this. But Louis does. I know this. And he can´t do anything about it. 

"So, you can mostly remember everything.."

"Nah, not really.. But I guess, I will get back the other memories.. won't I?!"

"I have a good feeling for it, yes. Ermh, Mr. Styles, could you leave us alone for 15 to 30 minutes?!"

I look back at the doctor in shock. Louis does the same.

"Why?!"

As we both answer at the same time with the same shocked expression, the doctor gets a creepy face. I can't even explain it. Something between he doesn't know what's going on and he wants to kill me because I didn't say yes. 

"Because Mr. Tomlinson will have to undress and I don't think he wants you to be here while I check everything. "

"It's okay, he's my.. my .."

Louis looks at me helplessly. I just shrug. I don´t even know what I would answer, if I was him. We are a couple. His my boyfriend. 

"Best friend.. He can stay!"

 

 

After the doctor gets out and Louis puts on again one of my old shirts and his boxers , I grin at his body. I love it. Fortunately Louis doesn't hang on so many medications anymore and can stay up without doctors coming in to check if everything is okay. 

"Are you hungry?!"

Louis looks at me, to his tummy and back to me.

"Nah, I'm fine."

I shake my head.

"You can't be fine, you didn't eat since yesterday at 3 p.m. and don't say that's not true! We both know that you didn't want to eat after that. And it was only an apple!! "

He looks at me sadly. Since when is he like that?! He enjoys food so much. Like not as much as Niall but still.

"I don't wanna eat anything, Haz.."

"What, why?!.."

"I'm fat!"

I start to laugh but as I notice that this wasn't a bad joke I hug him tightly. I kiss his cheek softly and look at him with so much love. 

"Don't say that! You weigh less than me! Even less than Niall does. Does Niall look fat to you?!"

He shakes his head.

"But i do."

A tear falls down his face and I kiss it away.

"How could you think that?!"

"Yesterday.. I kind of remembered something.. On the day of the accident I went through twitter or instagram.. well, there were some people saying that I was too fat and ugly and "

I stop him by kissing him.

"It's not true!! You are the hottest, smallest, tiniest, cutest, loveliest boy I have ever met and I love you so much."

Louis blushes and shakes his head.

"Harry.."

"It's true.."

I get up and don't think twice as I go to my bag next to my bed and grab a little back box. Hopefully Louis can´t see how much I´m shaking. 

"What are you doing?! Please don't leave me alone.."

I simple just shake my head and sit down on the other end of Louis´bed. I inhale slowly and look at his confused face. Ha.

'What are you doing, Haz?"

"Shhh.. I think it's the right time now.. I hope it is.. I waited long enough.."

I smile. It has to be the right time. He deserves it. 

"As I already said, you are perfect, Louis. You make me laugh whenever I want to cry. You make the world a better place to live. I love the sarcastic jokes you make. You are probably the only human on earth that cares so much more about others than his self! And I love this so so much about you. The moment you told me that you wouldn't know me was the worst in my life. My heart broke in million parts and we put them together. Slowly. But we did. When you remembered us, I was first shocked and thought you only said it to make me feel better.. but I kinda felt it that you were telling the truth..I know that there are still some things, you can´t remember. But we will manage everything together, yeah? I love you."

Louis blushes.

"I was fighting so much to get you back and I got you. Fortunately. Louis William Tomlinson, you are the love of my life. Would you do me the honor to marry me?!"


	10. Chapter 10

Louis PoV

 

My breathing stops momentarily. I had a feeling he would ask me this week or maybe next but now? Wow. I'm so happy he actually asks me. I try to get a yes out of my mouth but I can't bring one single word out of it. I´m just so breathless... Like he really wants me to be his husband. He wants to be with me, even though I thought about "marrying" El before the accident happened. Right now, I understand his shouting from then. My thoughts were so fucking stupid then. So, terrible stupid. We love each other and marrying a beard before the real love is just stupid. I should have stood up for Harry, for us. But I couldn´t. But I definitely will. Our management can shut the fuck up. I love Harry and no one else. They can pressure me into being heterosexual. They can´t pressure me into loving someone else. I only love Harry. Speaking of Harry.. He looks at me worried and shortly before I can actually nod, a tear is falling down his cheek.

"I'm sorry, Louis.. I shouldn't"

I shush him and take his into my hands. God, he's such a cute little cupcake. I giggle and give him a light kiss.

"Of course, I want, Harry. More than I wanted something ever before..!!"

We kiss again while he tries to put on that ring on my finger. But while kissing and him shaking so much because he is so nervous I guess it's clear that it isn't that simple. I shortly stop and take his hand in mine. He eyes me confused and a bit hurt.

"Don't you want the ring?!"

His smile fades but mine grows.

"Haz, you're shaking!! Calm down then give it on my finger, okay?!"

He nods, his cheeks really red.

"I can't even put a fucking ring on a finger without ruining it.."

I don't know why he could even think that. Did he even notice that i heard his whispers?! He´s so clumsy and that´s just adorable but definitely not making him stupid or anything negative.

"Cupcake, don't think that of yourself!!"

He pouts.

"I'm not a cupcake!!"

"Why not?!"

"Louis, just let me put on that ring and shut up!!"

He giggles and I just shake my head. Such an idiot. But he's MY idiot and I love him. I guess he's thinking the same right now. I can see it on his face. How he's trying to be serious while putting on that ring on my finger and thinking of me. As he eventually finishes I take his hands and kiss him deeply. Someone knocks on our door and we both sigh. Yay...How we love intruders.

Harry sits a bit away from me, his cheeks terribly red.

"Come in!"

Niall and Liam are smiling as they see how close we still are. Even though we aren´t as close when we kissed, we are touching each other as much as possible. Our feet tangled into each other. My hand lays on his. To be honest we only told the doctor about my slowly coming back memory and he told us he would keep it as secret. Mainly because I don´t want the whole world know about how I am. I don´t want to get any stupid comments. I know that I arleady get some and I don´t want more. I know that we have lovely fans, too, and they are more than the hurtful ones but still. They come in, close the door and when they are next to mine (our?!) bed I get a huge hug.

"So you remember finally?! Like everything?"

I sigh.

"Not really, Niall.. but I remember the important thing,tho. Even though, I´d like to everything again."

He smiles sadly.

"We will ma-... OH MY GOD, LOUIS!!! IS THAT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE?! LIAM LOOK AT HIS DAMN FINGER!!"

I laugh and nod with a blush on my cheeks. "

Yeah, Harry proposed to me.."

Niall's eyes stare at me furiously. I almost get scared of it, but only almost. I can´t take Niall serious, to be completely honest.

"When and why didn't you tell us?!"

I start to giggle.

"Niall, shhh calm down.. like 10 minutes ago, okay?!"

He's giving me now again a hug and is totally excited. Almost more than me. So cute. But when I want to look at Liam, he isn't here anymore.

"Where's Liam?!"

Niall shrugs while Harry stands up.

"I will have a look, he told me he would come back immediately.. Love you Louis!!"

I shake my head and kiss him. "Love you too" When Harry's out I turn around to Niall again.

"What happened with Liam?! Is he okay?!!"

Niall looks really really sad. Isn't he the one who's always happy and optimistic?! Or did I switch something up? He shakes his head and inhales before he speaks to me.

"Sophia, his girlfriend,.. well they had a little fight yesterday and she broke up because she thinks that Liam isn't good enough or something like this.."

Oh..

"Such a fookin´bitch,.."

"Wohoa , Tommo, those words out of your mouth. I missed them."

He smiles lightly and I pat him lightly before I toss him out of my bed. I guess that must hurt. His own fault when he insults me.

Did he even insult me? He just said that he liked my cocky character. Oh..I'm an idiot.

"What was that for?!"

I shrug and whisper that I am sorry.

"Louis? I only said that I like that you are getting your cocky self back.."

I shake my head. I used to be cocky? I hope not. Can you lose your character because a coma? Or did I unconsciously notice that I may hurt people ?

"I dunno, sorry mate.."

He sits up in my bed again.

"Everything okay?!"

"I am a bad person, right?!"

That caught him off-guard, I can tell by the look he's giving me. Shocked. Confused.

"Why would you think that?!"

"With being cocky, sassy .. there's a high possibility I could hurt people by saying things without thinking if they could insult someone.."

"Woah.. Louis. You never really hurt someone. You really act and say things without thinking a second about it but you never did something bad! Harry wouldn't want to marry you if you are an arsehole!! You know how sensible he is.."

Is he right? Harry is a boy who is really sentimental .. nah that's the wrong word.. he takes things by heart.. Like really does. And I think that hurtful words towards him hurt him more than he wants to show me.

 

_Our manager shuts the door and glances at us before he starts to call us some idiots again._

_Why? Because we are still dating._

_Harry takes my hand and holds it tightly. Fuck, he seems really hurt. Every time they wanna talk with us Harry gets so sad because they make us feel bad for loving each other. He always tries to swallow done his pride and everything at this moment. Tears, mean words. I think he really should starting cussing them out. Like not that I won´t do it. But him staying quiet always feels weird. I know that he loves me and that he isn´t on their side. But he should show that he is on my side, on our side._

_"Harry, you will get here tomorrow by 2 p.m and don't forget to wear something nice!!"_

_"Why?!"_

_"Surprise.."_

_He gives us both a sadistic smile and winks. (How I hate that. He looks even grosser than a second before.) Harry's grip gets even tighter and tighter and it starts to hurt to be honest. But I can't just tell him to stop. He needs it right now._

_Later when we are home after a silent drive Harry starts suddenly to cry._

_"I- I don't want to.. "_

_I pat his arms and kiss his forehead._

_"I know.. we'll make it, okay?!"_

_"But what if I get again a girlfriend or more likely a one-month-beard?! I don't want that ever again!! Taylor was horrible!!"_

_I hug him tighter._

 

 

Right in the moment I got back to reality Niall stares at me interested.

"Everything okay?!"

I nod.

"I remembered something.. Harry really is -"

He smiles. Then a tightly knock on the door interrupts our conversation. Without waiting on a yes or no the door opens and Liam and Harry are coming in, again.

"Hi,Liam!"

I smile at him and he simple nods. He must have really liked that Sophia-girl.

"Louis, look.. I shouldn't have left.. I am an idiot.. But I couldn't .."

I stand up without thinking that I really shouldn´t and hug him . But I don´t care at that moment. He needs a hug, right now.

"It's okay, Liam."

"You know?!"

I nod and get out of the hug, going back to my bed because I'm getting a weird feeling in my head and my abdomen. Harry looks at me worried but before I can tell him everything's okay I can only see black and feel as light as a feather.


	11. Chapter 11

Harry PoV

 

While many doctors come in, I just stand on the other side of the room. Shocked. Scared. So scared.

What's wrong with him? I thought he was alright. All those fucking doctors told us everyday that Louis' alright. They even said we could go home in two weeks or something like that. Why did they lie to us?! Why is Louis unconscious?! He just stood up! I hope this wasn´t too much for him. I should have done something. I bite my lips. 

I feel a strong arm take mine and try to get me out but even if I am not feeling good at the moment I jerk away and look at one of the doctors. I will stay here! Louis is my fiance! I have to be here for him! I need to help him. 

"Mr. Styles, you have to leave now!!"

I shake my head. I would never fucking leave Louis here alone. Never. 

"Your friend needs some rest and you can't help, so go.."

I give him a glare and sit on my bed.

"He needs me. My fiance needs me."

He looks quiet shocked and nods. But he´s still not okay with me staying here.

The doctors are all around Louis. He's now on his bed but still unconscious. I see how they are doing something with his chest and his pulse.. and other things. But I didn't study so I couldn't know what they are doing. I hope something useful. 

"Shit.."

Fear is the only thing that I am able to feel right now. Why did the doctor just say that?!

A minute later they take Louis (with his bed) out of the room. What? Why?

I stand up but one doctor holds me back.

"Mr. Styles, I know you want to be here for Mr. Tomlinson but we need to get him to the surgery room.. now.. Don't make anything more difficult as it is right now.."

My mouth gets open. What? Surgery?! Why?! I can't close my mouth and tears are about to flow down my cheeks. No, no, no. He can´t go in there again! The last time he was there, he came out without memories of me and us. He can´t go back. Even though it hurts so much, I hold back the tears and try to stay strong for him.

"It's nothing serious, he will wake up immediately.."

He leaves the room. Nothing serious. Really ? If it isn't serious, he wouldn't be taken to the surgery room. Why?! Why did I have to let Louis leave that day?! I am probably the worst boyfriend - fiance- ever.

I don't know if I should be blessed because I was able to ask him to marry me or if I should cry. What if he forgets me again? What if he doesn't wakes up? What if he has a serious illness? That would probably be something I could handle the best with. But only if he doesn't have to die.. I menace that would be horrible..

While I think about those horror scenes, i start to shiver and to shake. Why is it so fucking cold here?! A minute later I start to sweat.

What should I do?!

I get up and slowly go out of the room. A nurse passes by me and gives my a worried look.

"Everything okay, curly?!"

I shake my head.

"Ww-where's the surg-gery room Mr. Tomlinson is goiiin"

"Shhh, calm down.. I will bring you there, okay? Just let me check, where he is!!"

She pats my shoulder and leaves, going to a small room with only a desk and some medical things. But nothing special. It's like a tiny secretary room. She comes back and gives me a light smile.

She begins to walk but I still staying on that place. Do I really wanna go there?!

As she notices that I am not following her, she turns around and comes back to me. She pats my shoulder again.

"It's going to be okay! Trust me! Come on!!"

I nod and follow her silently.

"So what's your name if I may ask?!"

She smiles and blushes a little bit.

"I am Harry.. Mr. Tomlinson's fiance.."

Her smile grows and her eyes are totally shining. Like a star but in blue. Her eyes have the same blue as Louis'. Tears are again building. She hugs me and pats again me shoulder.

"I love him so much.. I-I can't-.. I-I need him.."

"It's okay, Harry.. It will all be okay!!"

"I don't even know why they took him there.. wait.. wait.. two friends where with us!? Where are they?"

She smiles. I like her and try to give her a smile back but I can't just smile. It hurts to much.

"They are probably waiting in the waiting room.."

"Ooh.. Ermh.. what's your name?! I'm sorry, I forgot to ask.."

She shakes her head and we begin to walk again.

" Anna.. "

"Okay, Anna .. Nice name.. Sounds nearly like my mother's..Well, where are we going at?!"

"Only a few steps and.. now.. we turn left.. I guess that are your friends?!"

My eyes look to Liam and Niall who jump up as they see me.

"Harry, everything okay?! "

Niall looks really really worried. Because of me?! He should worry because of Louis. Louis is in the fucking surgery room. Not me.

"What?! Yes, of course.. my boyfriend who is my fiance since 20 minutes is in a surgery room.."

Anna pats my back and leads me to sit down on a chair.

"Harry, keep calm!! Please, do it for your fiance!!"

Liam and Niall give each other confused looks.

"Who are you?! It shouldn't seem rude, I just wanna know.. you know?!"

Niall blushes at his words and inhales shortly.

"I'm a nurse here. I helped Harry find you.."

"But why do you know of his sexuality?!"

A confused look goes from me to Niall and from Niall to Liam.

"What's the thing with it, he's gay .. and?!"

"You don't know us?! Do you?"

She shakes her head and shrugs.

"No, I don't.. Why is that so important? Who are you?"

Niall looks away and shrugs.

"Not important.. "

"Okay?! However, Harry, should we look for a doctor?! "

I nod as fast as possible that makes her laugh and she begins to walk. I follow her. Niall and Liam still confused why she knows about Louis and me.

We go to a big door with the sign Surgery Room and stop going.

"Wait, Harry. You're not aloud to go in. I will look what I can do, okay?!"

"Sure.."


	12. Chapter 12

Harry PoV

 

While Anna is in that room (is that even one room?! i mean that hospital is quite big- it kinda feels like that the door Anna went in leads to more than just one room.) I sit on the floor with my face in my hands. Because of what does Louis have to be in that room? Is it really not serious? I can't believe that it isn't not serious! If it wasn't serious, Louis would be in his bed and I could tell him some jokes. Good jokes obviously! I even have a new one he didn't hear already. I feel like crying and screaming, all at once. I hate feeling so many feelings at once. And I hate feeling bad things even more. I´d rather be happy. I don´t like complaining. But this is just so cruel. And makes my head and heart hurt so much

I begin to sweat and it's getting worse and worse every second Anna doesn't come out. Why does it take her that long? Is she okay? Is Louis okay? It´s been 37 minutes already. Not that I´m checking. No, I´m definitely not looking up on this obnoxious clock all few minutes. I wouldn´t. Never. 

What I can´t do is talk to Niam. I just can´t. Niall would be so optimistic and when something bad happens... It would make it worse. I´m not even sure if I should have hope. Maybe he´s gone already? And fate just wanted to show us that we belong together. However, I also can´t talk to Liam. The reason is obvious. I definitely won´t want to hear him say again that Louis will not wake up again. This would break me even more. Louis is so strong! Why doesn´t Liam believe in him! He´s known him for 4 years now and should now that Louis isn´t weak. At least not when it comes to fighting. The only moment I saw him stop fight was when he came home and told me that he might give in and "marry" Eleanor. Shortly before his accident. I saw that he didn´t have any hope left that we could get officially together. 

The door opens and my eyes are immediately on the person who cane out. But it isn't her. I stand up and follow that man.

"Hello, ermh.. could I ask you something?"

He turns around, smiles and nods.

"Of course, lad, how can I help you?"

"Do you know what my fiance is getting operated for?! Do you know why Louis Tomlinson is in there?!"

His smile fades and a look of disgust gets on his face. He eyes me up and down. For a short moment it looks like he doesn´t believe me. He eyes me again and seems to notice me. Shaking his head, he looks at me even more disgusted.

"No, I'm sorry.."

He goes away without looking at me again. But as he is wider away from me he whispers faggot. What an idiot! I can love who I want. Or do I judge him when he likes a girl?! Ugghh.. I sigh and go to my place where I first sat. I fall on the ground and sit in the same position for a few minutes.

The door opens again, this time it really is Anna. Finally!

I look at her but she's trying not to look at me. Her eyes are looking at everything but not at me. What is wrong? I hope Louis is ok!!

"Anna ? What did you hear? What's with my BooBear ?!"

She looks at me. Face pale and eyes a little bit puffy. What the fuck is wrong?

I hope.. I hope. No, he didn't.. He didn't fucking die!! He can't. I need him. Here. Now. With me. He can´t go. He didn´t even get to say goodbye. Trying to blink away the tears, I concentrate on her. 

"Harry,.. we- we need to talk.. "

I jump up and stand next to her.

"C-c'mon .. let's sit on-on the chairs.."

Her fingers show to a room and I follow her. Slowly. Because firstly she's shaking and I am afraid she will collapse and secondly because I don't wanna know what's wrong. I wanna know. Obviously. But I am too afraid to hear the truth.

She opens the door and I sit down on one of two chairs. The chairs are practically next to one desk the only thing here. It's really really boring and saddening here. She hesitates before she sits down and looks straight at me. Her face is still paler than a wall and I am really afraid she could collapse. She takes my hands softly, probably to calm us both. 

Nobody of us both seems to wanna talk so I have to break the ice. I have to because he´s going to be my future husband and I want to know what´s going with him.

"Anna, what happened in there? Why are you so pale and shaking and .."

"Harry, I dunno how to tell you.."

Even more tears stream down my cheeks. No, that can't be real. She isn't about to tell me that Louis died. Louis can't be death, as odd it might seem but I feel that my baby lives. He lives! HE LIVES! LOUIS WILLIAM TOMLINSON HAS TO BE ALIVE!

In shaking sobs I whisper many many NO's.

"Why did he have to die?!"

Anna looks confused and shakes her head.

"What?! No, he didn't die.. not yet.. but he had a really serious operation.. and you have to promise me that you will stay don't matter what I tell you.. if something went wrong, Louis could get .. he could get .."

"Just say it please.."

"Because of the car accident Louis had, he seemed to hurt his head, haematomas were build under his cranial and so the doctors had to open Louis´ cranial, remove the haematomas and staunch the bleeding. But it could happen that he could be paralysed.. or maybe even die.. I'm so so sorry, Harry.."

Again, tears stream down my face. That can't be possible. I can feel my rage raising, but also the hurt. 

"But Louis were okay so long, wouldn't the haematomas already killed him?!"

"They said that Louis had a little luck.. I didn't actually understand what they meant because I´m just a nurse but it seems like the coma did calm the brain hemorrhage a little bit and as Louis woke up it must have grown again.. that's the only way they could explain this. ."

I shake my head.

"These idiots that get called doctors should have checked if everything's okay!! It's their fault if something will happen!! If anything will happen to Louis I will charge them, I'm sorry that you work here but I will do this!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you all like this so far?? 
> 
> -> As already said, I wrote this over 2 years ago... so, I don´t know anymore how true those medical things mentioned actually are. The brain hemorrhage obvs is a thing (sadly) but I dont know how they are operated on and how big the probability for Louis survive (with/without other results like having to stay in a wheelchair forever) would be. But let´s just pretend that what I´ve wrote is true \\(*^*)/
> 
> have a nice day/night (depending on where you live) x


	13. Chapter 13

Harry PoV

 

Anna nods and pats my shoulder. She must have came to my side while I cried my eyes out. Well, I'm getting more and more a pussy. But honestly, I don't care. As long as nobody outside the hospital will get that information it will be okay. Okay, even if the media would get to know that I am crying the most of my time, I couldn´t care less. They wouldn´t understand me. They don´t understand what I am going through. Never did. My fiance has a serious illness because of a serious accident. And I am more or less the reason Louis get into the accident. It's my fault Louis could be dying. But also everyone who has something against our love in our management, has a little fault. The person who has the most fault is unknown and will probably stay unknown. 

Anna hugs me and kisses my hair. Normally I would jerk away because I don't like it when females are doing this. The only ones who are allowed to do it are Gem and my mom but Anna seems to be a nice girl I could trust. Also, she just wants to be nice and help. I´m not sure if she really doesn´t know us but I think she's telling the truth. If not, well, that would be not that good because she could tell everyone that I am gay. But I don't think that she's someone like that. I hope. But then again, I have more problems.

"Harry, give me your phone!"

I look at her. What the fuck ?!

"Don't look so stupid! Your friends should come here too, should't they?! They are allowed to know that, too!!"

I simple nod and get my phone out of my pants. I dial Niall's number and give her my phone.

"Niall .. oh okay.. Oh, hello , yes, I am the girl who's looking after your friend. Do you want to come to us? Yeah, we know why but I think you should come here, so we can talk in person and so Harry isn´t alone.. Ermh, yeah I am gonna come and lead you here. Yeah, bye.."

I eye her every second she has my phone in her hand. It's not because I don't trust her. I simple don't want anyone to touch my phone but I wasn't able to say anything. She gives me my phone back and heads to the door.

"I will be back in 10'. Stay here, please! "

I nod and as she's out, I sigh.

Why? Why? Why did I have to scream at my love? Louis and I could cuddle now or be on stage. Why did he have to get hurt that badly? Why? Why does everyone and everything hate us so much? We just love each other. There´s nothing wrong in that.

I hear someone coming. I jump up and see an middle-aged man who just came out of the surgery room. It's one of the men who got Louis here. He at least looks like one. But don´t look all these doctors the same? Or do I just try to forget their faces? 

As he sees me, he smiles at me politely and comes closer. He doesn´t sit down. 

"Ah, here you are Mr. Styles.. I have something to talk with you!"

"Is he alive??!"

That question is eating me alive and just came out of my silly mouth. He nods and leads me back into that room. He sits down on the place Anna sat a few minutes ago.

"Soo, I guess the nurse told you why Louis had to get in the surgery room. Am I right?"

I nod.

"Good, she did also tell you that Louis' cranial had to get opened. Didn't she?"

Again, I simple just nod.

"That was quite risky and "

"What's with Louis, just say it!"

"Calm down, it's everything okay! Now! We just have to wait till he wakes up so we can know if he's surely okay! Sometimes you can´t see if everything is okay before the patient is awake. That´s why he has to be awake."

I sigh. So, Louis is okay? Good. I couldn't have lived with Louis having some illnesses because of my stupidity.

"He should wake up in the next hour. Normally you wouldn't be allowed to be there but you are here since some months and I guess that it would be wrong not letting you see your friend wake up.."

"Thank you!"

"It's okay! But c'mon or you wouldn't see him wake up!!"

"But Anna..the nurse. My friends.."

Right in the moment I say their names , Anna entries the room with Liam and Niall. Both looking terrible. Niall had been crying, I can tell by his red and swollen eyes.

"I'm so sorry Harry I hope he will be okay.."

I immediately hug Niall and Liam. The doctor looks a little bit stressed.

"Mr. Styles?!"

I get out of our hug and whisper a little sorry.

"Where are you going?!"

"To Louis. Watching him wake up!!"


	14. Chapter 14

**Louis PoV**

_It is one of my first concerts and the birthday present of my best friend  Stan. The Script. We are there with Hannah, my kind of girlfriend. Our "relationship" is platonic, though, because I´m afraid to tell my parents and friends that I like boys. Stan knows but he is the only one. I haveto get something to drink for us. I have to remember their drinks while getting to the bar. With no plan where I should get it I go through this concert room. My eyes everywhere because I am so lost. Suddenly I crash into a boy with curly brown hair. I immediately help him because he fell to the ground.  
_

_"Sorry."_

_"Oops! Haha, you shouldn't be so stormy!"_

_I smile and blush._

_"Yeah, uhm... I´m a bit lost, to be honest. Do you know where to get something to drink?!"_

_He nods and shows me the way with his hands._

_"Okay, thank you, ??"_

_"Haz, you are?"_

_"Louis, I should go now.. Or my friends will miss me.."_

_I giggle and wave him a good bye._

_"Bye."_

_"We will met again, I promise, cutie! Byee .."_

 

 

_~_

_It's almost time for my audition. I am very excited, obviously I am! This thing is big, I can´t screw it. Gosh, I am beyond excited. That's why my mom said i should go to the toilet before I piss myself in front of the UK and Ireland._

_I sigh. Luckily, I am alone. I put down my jeans and let go. To be honest, it's not really nice here. But I suppose that it´s kind of normal because so many people are here. I hear a sudden noise. The door opens and someone enters the room. A curly boy stands next to me. I put my jeans on again. I go wash my hand and the boy comes next to me. Some of 'my' water comes to his side and I giggle.  
_

_"Oops!"_

_The boy shakes his head and gives me his hand._

_"Hi. I'm Harry, Harry Styles. Nice to meet you!!"_

_I smile and take his hand. I like him. He's nice. I eye him up and down. He looks like someone I know. Someone I´ve already met. But I´m not sure. He looks at me like that, too. But we both don´t mention it.  
_

_"I- I am Louis Tomlinson.."_

_"Are you shaking?! It's cold, why don't have you a vest on or something?! You're gonna catch a cold .."_

_I shrug._

_"It was too early to think of what I should dress.."_

_He laughs and gives me his vest._

_"Are you crazy?! It's yours!"_

_He shakes his head._

_"It's okay! We will see each other again! I promise!!"_

_He winks and leaves me here alone. Well, maybe it will be my lucky charm?!_ _Maybe we would really meet again?!_

 

 

_~_

_Harry and I are about to move into our house. Our. House. We are together since one year and a half and finally we're about to move in. Since weeks we get our stuff here but finally we can sleep here. Without any one storming in when we are about to make out. We didn't get to touch each other while being fully naked in the X-Factor house. Every time, someone was complaining because we were moaning too loud when we started to undress. So Harry and I said to each other that we would wait till we live here together and now we do.  
_

_It's after watching some films with the other lads. They leave, so Harry and me are finally alone. I  think they just know_ _. Since X-Factor there was nearly a day we could be fully alone. I sigh and smile at my boyfriend._

_"I love you, Louis."_

_"I love you, Harry."_

_Harry begins to kiss me deeply and hugs me. He grinds on me while kissing my neck._

_"You don't know how long I waited for this moment. I love you, Lou, and forever will do so."_

_He leads me to the couch while still kissing me on my neck.I moan and my hands are on his jeans. I try to get them off but it just won't happen. My minds too foggy to concentrate. Harry helps me and leads my hands with his to his panties. His jeans are already away. I moan and palm him through his panties. He smiles into my neck and starts to bite. I palm him harder and he's getting harder too._

_"Do you really want me to come in my beautiful panties, Boo?!"_

_He's now watching me. Cheeky smile. His eyes dark and full of lust._

_"Nah.."_

_I shake my head, put down his shirt and throw it on the floor. He also puts down my clothes and in no time we are both naked grinding on each other._

 

I feel a burning sting on my head and my breathing is irregular. My tries to open my eyes are countless but I don't give up. I have to see him and touch him again. I just want to be close to him. Pictures of him are kind of floating around. The first time I saw him. The first time we hugged. The first time we kissed. But I can only see him at those moments. He always looks so happy with me. I miss his smile so much. I know that I must be sleeping. But not like night sleeping. 

 

 

**Harry PoV**

 

I am right next to Louis' new hospital bed. We are in the intensification of this hospital and the medical smell is even stronger than any where else here. I hate it but still , I have to be here. For my fiance. Alone the thought that it took me four years to ask him. I should have asked him straight away... wait, that would have been strange. But I had enough time to ask him before the accident. I sigh and look at him. He has a bandage around his head. Hopefully, I would never be able to see so that wound. I don't want to know how they opened his head. The thought of opening someone's cranial is strange and disgusting. But if it helped Louis, I can live with it. A little bit. My fingers wander to his head and I play with his hair. I wish he could be awake now. I want to speak with him and ask him if he is in pain right now. I hope not. He shouldn't be in pain. He should never feel any kind of pain. 

With the other hand I take one of his and press it a little bit.

"I love you, Louis. Please, wake up!! I promise you that we will marry as soon as possible, okay?! It will be the most beautiful wedding and just how you want it!"

 

Someone coughs and I look to the door but there's no one. My eyes wander to Louis and he's smiling at me. His eyes are barely open. They look tired. His skin is kind of grey but I suppose it´s because of the surgery and the coma.

"Louis?!"

He nods and opens his mouth.

"Don't speak! Don't struggle yourself too much!!"

He watches me confused.

"You just had a very serious surgery."

"Ahh.."

His hand wanders to his head.

"Are you ok?! Should I get you a doctor?!"

He shakes his head.

"'M okay, just a little head ache."

Immediatly I press the red knob to get some doctors here. Not only because he has a headache but because he has just woken up too.

 

Later two men come in and look if he's okay. I sit outside because it would be to embarrassing for him. I laughed , shaked my head but went out of the room straight away. Maybe I should listen to the doctors.

After one hour they come out and one looks at me while the second goes.

"I'm doctor Smith. Louis seems to be quite okay. He is able to memorize his childhood and many other things. He only has some head ache but it really isn't serious. He got some painkillers. You can go in, he misses you."

He smiles, laughs and goes. Before I entry I inhale and smile as I see Louis. He smiles back and as soon I am next to him I kiss him.

 


	15. Chapter 15

Harry PoV

 

When I stop kissing him Louis gives me one of his biggest smile. It looks like he wants something. I don´t know what but he looks adorable.

"Soo .."

I furrow my eyebrows and watch him.confused. So he really wants something from me. What does he want?! 

"So what?!"

"You said something very interesting before you got the doctors here.."

I'm even more confused now. What does he mean? Louis hits my arm gently and his smile fades. He truly looks hurt now.

"As you don't remember it, I think you only said it without actually meaning it.."

"What the hell, do you mean?!"

Louis tries to get away from me as I sit down now next to him.

"You said that you wanted to marry me as fast as possible if I wake up.."

Oh.. I smile. Trying to make him not more furious at me.

"I still mean it.. I will get everything done if you want to.."

I smile shyly.

"Harry, we both.. ouch .."

My smile fades and I watch him worried.

"Everything okay?!"

He simple nods. But I just know that he isn´t ok. Which is clearly understandble but I still don´t like seeing him in pain.

"We both know that you want a bigger marriage.."

"I don't care, I don't want.. ah forget it.."

I blush while a tear falls down my cheek. Louis takes one of my hand in his and smiles at me.

"C'mon , what don't you want to happen?!!"

"I- I don't want it to be too late.. You know to marry you.. It's the second time you were in coma and I am so afraid to lose you..."

His grip gets tighter and he gets my face down to his. There's literally no space between us but still our lips aren't touching. I feel his breathing on my lips and it feels incredible.

"I love you, Lou.."

I kiss him. Our lips finally again reunited. Even though we just kissed like five minutes ago I missed him. His lips on mine. His tongue playing with mine. I end the kiss. Louis stares at me confused and sad.

"Why?!"

"You don't want to get laid here , do you ?!"

I chuckle and of course Louis says that he wants to. Stupid dork. He just had a surgery which wasn´t uncomplicated but still makes jokes about wanting to fuck. Typical. I laugh and kiss him.

"Later."

I wink and give him a short kiss.

"When 'later'?!"

"On the day when you can go home and feel better."

He sighs.

"I hope that's soon.. I miss your body."

I shake my head and laugh loudly.

"Sure you do. I miss your body too, love."

"Will you stay here tonight ?!"

He pouts and looks terrible sad.

"I don't think I am allowed to but I can get me a chair later to sit on it."

"There's enough space in that bed.."

"You know that you're on two infusions?! I don't want that I put it down while I sleep.. I don't want that you have to get in coma again.. I love you too much.."

Some tears are again building in my eyes and I immediately put them away by wiping my arms over my eyes.

"Haz, don't cry. I love you and if you think that isn't good for me, okay. But I hope I can sleep next to you as soon as possible!!"

I nod and kiss him gently.

I hope he will be able soon to leave that hospital. I need him. Physical and psychic. But it isn´t about sex. It isn´t about touching him. It´s about him being good. It´s about us being able to cuddle next to each other without worrying about infusions. It´s about just being together without anyone else close. I want to be able to cook for him. I can´t here. Even though the food is so bad. Like you can eat it without throwing up but Louis deserves better. 

"Harry?!"

I look at him confused.

"Yeah?!"

"Where are Liam and Niall?!"

"They aren't allowed to get in here but we could be bad boys.."

I smile and he gives me a nod. I send them a message with how to come here and they are immediately here. It took them five minutes to get here but who counts really. I never was one to count the seconds.

"Louis!!"

Both storm to Louis giving him happy faces and giving him a high five. I guess they're as happy to have him alive and stable as me. I chuckle lightly at this sight and get out taking one of those chairs in. I put it next to Louis' bed and sit down.

While the other two boys are chatting with Louis I put on my phone.

One missed call.

Jay.

I immediately get out and call her back.

"Hello,Jay ? Are you alright?!"

" Hi, Harry.. yeah..I wanted to ask you how Louis is doing.. "

I bite my lip. Shit, I didn't think of his family. I didn't text them or call them as he got into the surgery room. Selfish ass a voice in my head is screaming at me.

"Harry?!"

"Oh, sry .. ermh.. yeah he's fine now, I would say.. "

"What do you mean?! What's with my baby?! And why didn't you tell me that he lost his memory?!"

"He- I don't know if I can do this on phone.."

"Please, I can't leave Doncaster now.. Daisy and Doris are ill.. Please just tell me.."

"He had an operation."

"What?! Which?! Why??"

"He had an brain hemorrhage.. but the doctors say it's good now and can't hurt him anymore..hopefully."

"Ohh .. and- and why didn't you tell me about his memorizing problems?! I'm his mother, Harry!! Do you wanna know where I got that information from?! Twitter !! Some poor fans of you wanted to know how bad it actually is, etc. and I couldn't tell them anything. Because you didn't say an-"

"Jay, keep calm.. Let me explain this! Okay?"

"Okay."

But I can still feel how mad she is at me and I can understand her so much. I´m a selfish idiot.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to go through the same hell as me.."

"What do you mean?!"

"He didn't remember anything.. Which included me. I didn´t want you to experience how it feels when someone you love looks at you worried and asks you who you are.."

"I- I.. oh my god.. Harry, I.didn't know it was that bad.. I am really really sorry.. I shouldn't have-"

"It's okay, you're his mother and I should have at least told you when he began remembering people.."

"Does he remember me now?!"

"I don't know.. I mean I told him all names of his family and of his siblings and he was so cute. Totally listening as it would be like a story or something like this.. But I could give him to you.."

"Ye- Noo.. I- I am afraid.."

"It's okay!!"

"I have to go now.. Tell Louis I love him.. Bye, Harry.."

"Bye, Jay.."

I get back in the room. It's silent and everyone's watching me.

"Hii?!"

Louis looks at my phone and back at me.

"Long phone call, huh?"

"Yeah?!"

"Who?!"

"So curious today?!"

He puts his tongue out and crosses his arms. Gosh, he shouldn´t be jealous.

"Your mother. I should tell you that she loves you."

He looks at me now with sorrow in his eyes.

"Ohh.. sorry.."

I smile and sit on my chair next to his bed. Niall and Liam hugging Louis goodbye and doing the same to me.

"Bye, Larry!"

"Bye, Niall! Bye, Liam!"

They go and Louis and me are alone again.

"It- it's really my mom ?! Why doesn't she come visiting me?! I want to know how she looks.. I want to hear her voice.."

"Two of your siblings seem to be quite sick .. You still can't remember her?"

"No, not at all.."


	16. chapter 16

Harry PoV

On the next day I wake up with horrible back pains. Sleeping with my head on the bead and my butt on that uncomfortable chair doesn't seem to be a good idea anymore now. My poor back. I love Louis but for tonight i have to find another way to sleep, though in the same room. To be honest, I don't think they would put up Louis' infusions but we will find another way. Maybe another bed or something like this.

I sit up straight and watch Louis. He looks like an angel and like he isn´t in any pain. God bless. Louis deserves some hours without pain, especially after his coma and operation. I sigh. Hopefully he will be able to come home soon. I don't think he will be able to come home with me this or the next week but maybe in 3 weeks?! 4?! I want him to come home so much. How long was he not at home? 5 weeks? 6? Or even 2 months? If not more.  
I get my phone out of my hoodie on the floor and check for some messages or news.

1 message from Liam

'Would it be okay, if Niall and me don't visit you guys today like we promised it Louis?! There's a little interview and I've forgotten it.. Liam x'

I shake my head. Does he really have to ask? I mean, he couldn't delay the interview because there's a high probability that management set it up. Stupid arseholes, sorry but that's true. If they wouldn't be so strict and mean, especially when it comes to Louis and me, I would have never told Louis to leave. 

 

'Of course it's not a problem. You know that Louis will understand it!! Harry '

 

Minutes fade. The silence is threatening. I hate it. The only audible thing in this room are the machines next to Louis. Then out of nowhere my phone lights up. Another message from Liam.

 

'Why doesn't Liam get a x back from you? Nialler '

 

I chuckle. What the hell do they plan to do? Make me a bit happier or what? They know that I love them but is a x in a message so necessary. I shake my head and type an answer. 

 

'I'm soooo sorry, Niall. I should have put one in too. Here you are, xx.

Ps. I still love Louis more than you two together.

Love, Harry'

 

A little smile is on my lips and doesn't fade. How did I get so amazing friends? How did I get such an amazing boyfriend?

I look again back on my phone. Again, another message from Liam or Niall, however.

 

'I hope you're sorry. But I thought we had something special?! :'( Nialler xx'

 

'Sorry, MATE. The only special thing I have with someone is with my fiance Louis Tomlinson. Get over it. ;)'

 

'Haha.. Is your fiance awake by the way?!'

 

I look up but he still sleeps. Still like a little baby puppy or an angel.

 

'Nope, still sleeping. Soooo beautiful :))'

 

'Aww .. Well, Liam will kill me if he sees me with his phone.. We will see each other tomorrow or something like that. Bye, Nialler. xx'

 

I don't answer to that simply because I don't know what. A 'bye' wouldn't be good and more doesn't pop up in my mind. I go through my phone. Looking if I could play some games but I don't really find one interesting one. I go on twitter looking through the things my fans and friends tweet.

But they are only writing about some concerts of Luke, Calum, Michael and Ashton. I don't care really but I think it's sad how our fans seem to forget about us or especially Louis. Don't they care for their idol or what does happen in their heads?! I announced that Louis is still here. I sigh. Sad, sad..

I tweet something, so the fans who care are informed.

 

"For the ones who are interested: Louis had a serious operation. Can u trend #GetWellLouis ?! x "

 

In seconds I gain hundreds of 'Retweets' and 'Favs'. Even more comments. Sadly the half of it are things to get me to follow them. But there are also fans who seem to care and write really cute things.

 

"#GetWellLouis Let's hope he gets well. I love him so much and he deserves to be healthy."

 

"Everyone trend #GetWellLouis so he sees how much we care!!!"

 

I aww to those two and another like ten tweets and retweet them. I follow a few people who seem to really care. And they are right. Maybe if Louis sees how much people want him to be healthy, he will get well sooner. Doesn't sound very realistic but who cares. The thought counts and there are so many people who want him to get well soon. Before I turn my phone down, I get to know that they trended in like ten minutes and screenshot a few things.

 

"Thank you soooo much!!!! I love all of you who care about Louis!! - H xx "

 

"Harry?!"

His words are cracking on the end, not only because he just woke up but also because of his operation, I guess. He's so weak at the moment and I don't know if I like or dislike the vulnerable site of him. Yes, he's even more adorable but I hope I will be the only one - without the doctors- who will be able to seem like that. He likes to be seen as tough, cheeky and almost invulnerable person and I´ll be keeping that this way. Even though he isn´t always like that. 

"Yeah?!"

I take his hand in mine and smile at him.

"I love you!"

I chuckle and kiss his temple.

"I love you, too. Did you have beautiful dreams?!"

He blushes and nods.

"I hope of your awesome fiance!"

He nods and looks on the other site of the room. Away from my eyes.

"Ok, what did you dream, Louis?!"

A smile pops up on his face. How can he go from embarrassed to that?

"I dreamt of our wedding.."

I smile back. Aww, cute. My smile fades. What if another thing happens and I really can't marry him?! I swallow down this pessimistic thought and smile again.

"What did I wear? A tuxedo?! What colour?! Black? "

His face turns completely red and he starts to cough.

"You are okay?!"

He nods.

"Yep.."

"So what did we wear?! I wann-"

"Harry!! Stop!! Ermh.. we didn't wear a tuxedo.."

"What?! What did we wear then?!"

"Nothing.."

He looks away. The brightest smile sits on my face right now.

"Since when are you so shy talking about nudity ?! "

He blushes even more and looks back at me.

"Harry! Shut up!"

I shake my head over his cuteness.

"Okay, love."

I don´t know if he really is embarrassed to talk about our nude bodies or if he just acts like it but it´s weird. Same with him thinking that him being sassy couldn´t have been real. (Like the fuck, the sass king was born with sass and it´s meant to be!) I think he just needs time to be himself again. I know that he´s himself now,too , but everyone has different personalities in different situations or around different people. I suppose he´ll be like himself again at home.


	17. Chapter 17

**Louis PoV**

 

After our embarrassing talk about that damn dream and after a silence I didn't really like, Harry told me he had to go get some things from _home_. Home. I wasn't there in months.. I can´t remember much of it (just the few rooms I was in before the accident) but I miss it so much. Just Harry and me and no nurse- no doctor- who could come in while we have a private talk or other things I miss doing with him. I miss cuddling him while he cooks. I miss being cuddled by him while I play some video game. I miss kissing him. I miss being close to him. 

Why did I have to leave on that day?! If I had known that I almost died, I would have never left Harry and would have told him to forget about our management. To forget about Eleanor. Just a minute. We could have forget that little fight. It wasn't even one of our worst fights. But it was the first time I left furious and drove through London. I will never drive, let alone drive when it´s dark and I´m mad.

But I still don't know who or what crushed into me. That's so stupid. The person should go to jail. He or she deserves it so bloody much. Harry went and still goes through so much because of my accident. He doesn't show it often but I can feel how unsure that he is with touching me because it could hurt. That´s why I always act like it´s ok. I want him to hug him and if it contains having a little pain, fuck it. 

Speaking about Harry. I have to give it back to him. I have to show him how thankful I am to have him. But I don't know how. The only thing I know is that I will need help. Maybe from Liam, maybe Niall, maybe Zayn. But not from all together because Harry would discover it..He always finds out such things. Especially when everyone around him is in it. 

I sigh. Such a mess. It's so silent here. Harry left two hours ago, the next check-up with my doctors will be in six hours. I hope Harry will come back soon. Laying in that stupid bed without a phone or a person next to me is soo boring. Why do the boys have to have a interview today?! Why not tomorrow?! I hate being bored. I hate being alone. Did I mention that I hate being alone? I suppose I hate being alone because I never really was alone or had the chance to. 

I hear a light knock on my door and I immediately scream ( as loud as possible I can with my fucking cracking voice) to come in. But honestly I guess it was just a loud whisper.

Eleanor entries the room and looks at me worried. I only watch her shocked. What does SHE do here ?!

_Harry come here and save me!_!

She sits down on Harry's chair and smiles lightly while trying to take my hand. I jerk away and give her a pissed look.

"What's wrong, babe?!"

"Don't you call me that!"

First there's something in here eyes like I didn't go in her trap and she don't know what to do because I am not as friendly as she thought I'd be. She shakes her head and smiles. Hate in her eyes.

"But Louis... Don't you remember your.. your girlfriend?!"

My mouth falls open, not daring to be rude again. What the fuck is her problem?! She knows that she's only a cover-up.

"You're not my girlfriend and I don't need a girlfriend!!"

She pouts and acts like she would begin to cry any second. I simple shake my head.

"Please.. Louis.. I love you.. you have to  remember me.."

She puts out her phone, showing me pictures where I faked smiles just to pleasure management. Like her birthday.

"Oh.. come on!! You know that I don't give a single damn about you!! I love someone else and you know that!!"

She shakes her head and whistles. I furrow my eyebrows as two men come in and close the door silently.

"Say that again, my dear.."

She smiles at me like only Satan would do.

"Say that again, Louis! Ohhh.. Are you afraid?! You should be!!"

Her laugh leaving goosebumps on my whole body.

 

 

**Harry PoV**

As I see Eleanor's car ( or better the car of her chauffeur) I storm into the hospital. I never run so fact. Especially not with two bags on my shoulder. As I reach Louis' door I open it. My eyes nearly fall out of my head as I see how two men are holding Louis while that bitch tries to kiss Louis.

"OUT OF THAT FUCKING ROOM OR I SWEAR I WILL CALL THE COPS!!"

She jumps off the bed and looks a little bit terrified. The men let go of Louis and I see that Louis is a bit red in his face. Not because he's embarrassed but because of not being able to breath. I shout for a docotor again and again and glare at those three idiots.

"You leave the room!! Now! Or I WILL do things you never dared to dream about in your worst nightmares!! OUT!!"

A doctor comes in and looks terrified as he sees Louis trying to breath. Eleanor and those men leave as fast as possible. I look at her angrily but she still looks at Louis, trying to get a smile or anything positive from him. What´s going on in her head? Louis is mine. She knows that since minute one. I´ve shown her often enough that Louis belongs to me. Yet she keeps on fighting for the management´s dream to come real.

"What happened?!"

He puts a respirator on Louis and watches me confused.

"What happened?! And why did those three people had to leave so fast ??"

I look to Louis, sit down on the chair next to him and take his hand. He takes it and tightens his grip a little bit. I smile softly at him and look back to the doctor.

"I don't know. I only saw how the men were holding their hands around Louis' neck and shoulders.."

A tear falls down my face. Louis is giving more and more pressure to my hand. I look at him and he gives me a sad look.

"I think we should call the police. Mr. Tomlinson could have died, if you didn't come now !! "

I nod. The doctor looks up and down at Louis and checks something on the monitors that i almost forget they are here.

He puts the respirator down and looks at Louis who still has problems with breathing but not that bad as like five minutes ago. At least his face has his usual colour again.

"You can leave it now but put it on when it's getting worse again, okay?!"

He nods, whispering a thank you. The doctor leaves.

"I'm sorry, Louis.. I should have stayed!! I shouldn´t have left you alone! She´s going mad, I don´t know why. I don´t even know who those men where."

He shakes his head.

"It's okay.. I love you!!"

I chuckle and get up from my chair. Louis watches me while I get my bags from the other side of the room.

I take out a photo from one of the bags and hand it him. Tears build up in his eyes.

"Is this my family?!"

The picture shows everyone of the Tomlinson-Deakin family. His parents (Dan obviously isn´t his father but more like his real one), all of his sisters and there´s even me on it. As the picture isn´t soo recent, you can only see Jay´s baby womb a bit as the picture was made at the day she told us that she was gonna get a baby again.

"Yeah.. plus me.."

He hits my hand lightly and starts to chuckle.

"You belong to my family, Harry you idiot!!"

I blush and smile.

"Really?!"

"I wouldn't want to marry you, if I didn't see you as family! Thank you so much for that!! "

I smile. He never actually said it really. There where hints but he never said it like that. _I belong to his family!!_

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Louis PoV**

 

Even though I´m still on the same station, and because of the thing that happend with Eleanor, Harry got a bed next to mine. I think the doctors are as scared as me for that again to happen. I think they want me to be able to go soon and not for something to come in between that again. Surely, her face is registered now and the ladies at the registration points have pictures , I think she´d still find a way to come here again. Even if she´s not allowed to. I hate her. She always (kind of) was nice to me. Harry told me a few times that she really wanted to hit on me but I didn´t believe him at the start. Why would she hit on a taken man who isn´t interested in women? That´s what I don´t get. She knows that I´m gay. Why does she want to pressure herself onto me? She can´t turn me gay. That´s impossible. Even if she could, she still would not be my type. However, I stared the whole day at my boyfriend while he stared at me too. Now he's about to doze off but a knock on that shitty door wakes him up.

"I will open it!"

We asked the doctor for a key because of that scenario that happened today. Louis safety is the most important too me and I will do everything for it. And with everything I mean everything.

Harry opens it and Niall jumps in. Jumping around like a frog on drugs. Okay, that was probably mean. Plus Niall would never do drugs. I'm an idiot. Let us say that he's jumping crazy around.

"Hello, lads!!"

I look at the clock that's on the wall and back to Niall.

"Do you know how late it is?! It's 10 p.m !! We could be asleep!"

He chuckles and sits on Harry's bed. Harry gets there too and watches Niall confused.

"So, why are you here?! I thought you had a long interview and stuff?"

"I wanted to know why Louis was allowed to finally break up with his beard .."

Harry and me look at each other confused. Is he.. Is that the truth?! Finally!! But how? Why suddenly?

"What?! "

He laughs and shakes his head.

"You didn't hear the news?! Management confirmed it also on our official accounts on Facebook and Twitter!! Wait, I'll read you the text ..

_After Louis' accident we have to confirm something sad: He had to leave his girlfriend!! As she didn´t show any support towards him being sick or being here for him, he had to quit it. Let's_ share our _prayers, that Louis does feel good!!_ "

I cough a little and look to Harry who's smiling at me.

"We are free?!"

Niall shrugs.

"But there's another thing.. Is it true that Eleanor got arrested?!"

Harry's smile grows wider.

"Hopefully!!"

"What happened?!"

"She tried to manhandle me with the help of two big and weird guys.."

Both look at me with an unreadable look. It's something between worried and anger. I guess Harry's hate for her grew a little bit more. He didn't exactly know that she wanted to have sex with me and I didn´t even wanted to say it but seems like they can look through my words. He was so furious and worried, honestly I didn't want to tell him it. It didn't happen. He saved me.

"What?!"

Harry's eyes get darker and he seems to be very sad and disappointed. But why? It didn't happen plus I didn't do anything. Except for trying to breath or get away from her.

"She tried to fuck you?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?! I'm your fiance!!"

"You were worried enough. Plus I didn't have a chance of talking to you. And it's pretty embarrassing and a crazy feeling. Even now I feel the acid running down my body from her touching my body! Harry?! What's wrong?"

"What if they come back?!"

"I think .. I should go... I shouldn't have come in the first place.."

Harry and I watch Niall standing up. He goes to my bead and hugs me, then he goes to Harry and does the same.

"You don't have to go!!"

"Yes, Liam and I will watch a movie later.."

"It's almost getting 11 p.m , you dork !!"

"I can show you the message if you want.. but I really have to go.. I'm sorry! I hope you don't fight because of me telling you the news.."

He smiles sadly, nods and leaves the room. Harry stands up too and closes the door. I wait till he lays down in his bed again and looks to me.

"I'm sorry, Harry.."

"What?! No-No-No! You don't have to be! I'm the idiot! You're right, I shouldn't be so furious because she tried touching you. I know you didn't want it but just the thought makes me wanna vomit."

"Now imagine how I feel with her having all over my body. Ewwww.. However, are we ok?!"

He smiles. His dimples popping up. Beautiful. Just beautiful. Harry´s smile fades and he jumps out of his bed. Heading to his bags.

"Harold?! Everything al-right?!"

He nods.

"Don't call me that, Lewis!!"

He looks to me with a serious look and we both start to laugh. We are such idiots. Two idiots found each other. Isn't that perfect?

"Honestly, what are you doing?"

"I have something for you.. I'm sorry I forgot giving it to you earlier.."

He comes to me and sits down on the chair. His hiding the thing in his hand. I shake my head.

"What's it?!"

"Na, na, na , Mr. Styles.. Don't be so curious!!"

"Mr. Styles?! Are you serious? You are going to take my name!!"

"Nope..!"

"Ughh .. It's too late to talk about this.. Can you show me what you have?! Please?"

I look at him. Trying to give him a sweet-puppie-wanting-his-snack-look.

"Okay.."

He hands me my phone. How long didn't I have it in my hands? I don't know but I know that I didn't really miss it. Not at all. Always getting called by management was getting on my nerves anyway... Also, I thought I had it in the car on that day and that it wouldn´t work anymore. It seems to work, though. 

"Thank you!"

I fake him a smile and kiss him.

"No problem, babe."

He switches off the light and goes to his bed again.

"Don't wanna go on twitter or something ?!"

"I'm a little bit afraid.."

"I know.. you don't have to. Let's just go sleeping okay?!"

I nod, turning around and turning on the phone. Looking through it, I just send Harry a message with a heart and turn it off. Finally getting away from this terrible day.

 


	19. chapter 19

**Louis PoV**

 

After two weeks I get into a normal patient room. No infusions. No computers or anything next to me or my bed. Finally. But I still have to stay here for a little while. Fortunately I only get two pills a day and the doctors are only coming in once or twice a day. It depends on if they think I am healthy or not. They are afraid I could catch an infection or something like this because I am still very very weak. In their eyes. I think I am not that weak anymore. To be honest when you asked me I would say that I could go already but they don't let me. Harry gets a bed next to mine as it is a double bed room but he will sleep in my bed. He promised. Right now he is having a call with my mom outside of the room. (Yes, we got a key again because of the thing that happened because of Eleanor) I still can't remember my mom and I feel like shit because of it. I'm her son and can't remember her. Stupid. There are little memories that flicker into my mind but without faces or voices. Just those small childhood memories. First school day and such. But I know that she´s gorgeous. I don´t know it because of me being her son, also not because Harry tells me quite a lot about her everyday. But  because I can feel it. 

I know that I was the class clown in school but I don't know anything that happened in school. I can't remember if I had a first kiss before Harry and can't remember that Hannah girl all too much. Only because of the memory with Harry on the The Script concert. I remember her being my kind of beard because I was afraid but that´s it. I remember that I used to be very very sassy. Why used to be?! I don't really know I just don't wanna be it now again because Harry and all of the other lads are so nice and I don't wanna seem impolite or something like this. Or if I wouldn't appreciate them coming and being with me. So I am nice to everyone. Not sarcastically. Really nice. I thank everyone as much as possible for staying and talking to me. And I don´t mock Harry as much as I used to. 

I take my phone in my hands and eye it curiously. I didn't touch it at all the last two weeks. Why should I?! Harry was with me all the time and that's enough. I didn't need it. But now I wanna know what everyone thinks. With everyone I mean basically our fans. Are they worried?! Do they even care? Are they pissed because of me being not able to sing or do anything? I sigh. Should I log in twitter ? Harry already put in my username and the password. So I dont have to struggle because I can't remember it. With another sigh I open the app. Many messages and notifications pop up. The tweets, as Harry likes to call them, pop up as fast as the notifications. Wow. That's much. I have millions of direct messages. I look through the notifications. Many many girls are asking for a follow from me. Do they even know that I am in the hospital? I shake my head. Then there are tweets with hashtags like #LouisGetWellSoon or #WeLoveYouLouis. I smile. They are cute. I try send a 'tweet' to them. But what?

" Hi, I'm quite fine now. I love you all"

"Looking forward to be on stage again. But it will take some time till I can"

"Amnesia isn't funny, I can tell.."

My timeline, another thing  Harry thought me, is now full of tweets to me. Basically get-we-soons. But looking through everything something catches my attention.

_"Look, look, Mr. T got his ability to write back. Awww should I cry now?!+"_

_"They only want that sad and now positive news so that damn band is getting more teenies to cry over them"_

As I am about to throw my phone on the floor or answer that idiot, Harry opens the door and entries it. He smiles, closes the door again and kisses me when he has approached my bed.

"Everything okay, love?!"

I nod and put my phone on the table. He glances at me shortly and kisses my cheek.

"Okay, I love you"

I smile and hug him.

"Louis?"

His voice is serious, too serious if you'd ask me. What happened in that minute before I was hugging him? I simple nod and stare in his wonderful green eyes.

"I.. Do you still.. wanna.."

I kiss his nose and take his hands in mine.

"Harry, calm down. And now tell me!"

"Do you still want to marry me??"

I look at him confused. Why would he ask that? Of course, I want. Did I give him any sign I didn't want to? I touch the ring on my finger.and smile at him.

"Yes, of course, love. Why?"

"Just wanted to know.. Should.. should we start to plan the wedding?!"

He gets a little red and my smile grows bigger. We will plan our wedding. How great is that?!

"Yes!! Oh my god, yes , Harry!"

He stares at me confused.

"Everything okay?!"

He laughs and gives me a kiss.

"Only when you're here with me."

We kiss again and I feel how much lust he has. But _it_ is still too 'dangerous' and exciting to me. He backs away from me. Red checks, black and widened eyes. I should have stopped earlier.

"I'm sorry, Harry.. I shouldn't have.."

"It's okay,.. I could have stopped earlier too.."

He grins and hugs me. I wish I could stay like this forever. No management. Only Harry and me. I wish that would be that simple for longer. But as I am getting better I think management will storm into my room once. Luckily it's closed 24/7. And no one except the other three lads of our band (and obviously  Harry) is allowed to come in. After all that many nights and days I started to ask myself what music we make. Harry only ever said that we are a boygroup. Does that mean that we play pop? Or punk? Rock? I sigh.

"What's love? Everything okay?"

"Harry?!"

"Yeaah?!"

"What music do we make?"

"Pop, Louis. Why?!"

I shrug. 

"Was curious. Would you show me one music video of us again? You didn't since I had the surgery.."

"Of course.."

He stands up, gets his laptop from the table next to his bed and lays down next to me again, putting his laptop onto his lap. He opens it, logging on and he immediately opens an order called "Midnight Memories- MVs".

"I'd say we watch Story Of My Life at first. If it's okay for you.."

"I can't remember them, so I don't care which we should start with.."

I kiss his right shoulder and rest my head there.

"Okay!"

He puts the start button and the video starts. I recognise those two hands straight away. Wow, did I really learn to do that?

"Stop it, Harry!"

He looks confused but stops it.

"What?!"

"Did I really learn to do that with pics or is it just a computer effect thing?!"

"We quite got a little practice in doing it, so it won't look like whe don't know what we are doing. But the first thing was a computer effect. Ben didn't tell me, he said it was a secret.."

He rolls his eyes.

"Who's Ben?"

"What do you think about I get you a notebook and you write all your questions to the music video down and you ask me later?!"

He smiles and I nod. He stands up getting it from his bag. Damn, why does this boy have so many useful things with him. Maybe he planned to do that memoriaing thing anyway and already got his laptop and notebook here? Who knows. He lays down again and I put my head on his shoulder.

"But tell me who Ben is at first!!"

He takes my hand, leaving kisses on it and smiles.

"Whatever you want, Louis. Ben Winston is our director and producer. He directed for example the music videos for Best Song Ever and Story of My Life."

"Only them?!"

"No, there are a few others too. But I didn't want you too have to know bout so much.. for now.. I will tell you the others too. Sometime."

"Okay.. Ermh why do we have a song called Best Song Ever?! Isn't that a bit vain?!"

"Shut up and watch the video now."

He chuckles and starts it again. I watch it clearly and note things into that notebook Harry got me.

- _Harry has a beautiful voice. :)_

_-Who's the girl next to Zayn?_

_\- Why are there short films? Why does it start with older looking pics?_

_-Who's the boy next to Niall?!_

_-The four people next to Liam are his family. Right?!_

_-wow. I look so happy and good too ;)_

_-is the lady next to you your mother?! wow she's beautiful. now i know where you got your beauty from_

Then it comes to a younger looking boy. It looks a little bit like me. Sitting next to a table. Four elder people behind him. The pic changes and I sit next to only two of them. My vision goes blurry and I can only see black.

 

 

_"I can't do this!!"_

_"Louis! Everything is good! Your grandparents are so proud of you! Wherever they may be!"_

_Tears stream down my face. I never thought that this scene would be so hard for me. Yeah, I knew that we would make something with the topic family but I didn't know that I had to do it with my grandparents! I love them, of course I do. But this picture? Really?! Two of them had to pass away unfortunately! That hurts sitting there. I remember everything we did together. My grandpa holding my little hand as I didn't know if I could climb on that tree. Or the one day my grandma made cookies with me two days before Christmas._

_"You think ?"_

_"Of course. Those two probably look down right now smiling at how much you have achieved!"_

_I smile._

_"Thank you, Harry! I love you!!"_

_I look around me. Nobody seen. Good. The i-love-you was loud enough anyway. If someone who doesn't know about us heard it, our management would have killed us._

 

 

As I open my eyes slowly two doctors stand next to me and look at me worried.

"Everything okay, Louis?!"

I nod.

"I.. I just remembered something.. I'm just a little bit fuzzy but it's okay.."

One of them, a younger man around my age, hands me a cup with water and smiles. I mouth a thank-you and empty it fast.

"We will come and check on you again in ten minutes ok?!"

Harry and me nod and they leave.

"Soo .. what did you remember?!"

I smile.

"Our talk about my scene in Story Of My Life.. about my grandparents. "

He hugs me and kisses my cheeks.

"That's wonderful, love!"


	20. chapter 20

Louis PoV

 

The next two days go by fast. Nothing happens, basically. Waking up. Getting my pills. Cuddling the whole day with Harry. (Considering that as nothing was stupid, sorry bout that ..) Then going to bed. We really did nothing more. Not even the doctors did much cheekups on me. Not that I like them (why should I like having to undress in front of old men and women who think they can flirt with me) but the days just get so boring. I want to do something!! I want to jump around or write songs. Whatever. At least let me do something. 

Being in that hospital is getting on my nerves lately. I want to go out and feel the sun on me. Or the rain drops, whatever. But I am too long here already. I don't wanna know how long. It would make me more sad, because I need to stay in that stupid bed.

I sigh. Harry is still asleep. But he's in my bed, like the other days too. His head is on my breast, right over my heart. I smile. Okay. Maybe being here isn't that bad. Harry is here. And not one single fan tried to come in, paparazzis didn't try it either. I hug Harry lightly. I want to have him as near as possible. Even though he's basically just a few centimeters away from me, I don't know, I just wanna feel him. Only him. I look on my hands and smile as I see the engagement ring. I'm glad I still have it and didn't lose it or something like that. Harry's going to be Mr. Harry Tomlinson and my husband. My man. Such a beautiful thought, isn't it. We´re going to marry after all those things that had happened to us already.

A light knock on the door wakes Harry up and he literally jumps out of the bed and to the door. Watching the clock on the wall before asking who it is.

"Mr. Smith. Like always on 9 o'clock."

Harry opens the door and the doctor walks in. Greeting us both with a smile.

"How are you, Louis?"

"'M great, thanks.."

"Good.. Good.. We need you to make some check-ups today.. For your brain and some other organs.. But first you'll get your daily pill and your breakfast okay!?"

I nod. Harry, who is sitting now again, eyes the doctor worried.

"Is everything okay!?! "

"Yeah, of course.. We just need to look if the surgery was good and some things.. You know, we just want to know if Louis still needs this pills or another, when he could leave etc..."

He nods but I can feel that he's still worried about me and my health. The doc hands me my yellow pill and I swallow it with a cup of water.

"Your breakfast will come in ten minutes, like always.. Mr. Styles, you will look that he has finished at 10 am."

He nods and the doctor is outside again, leaving us alone. Harry didn't lock the door because the lunch lady would come in about 10 minutes and he's too lazy to stand up twice in that time. He lays down next to me again and kisses me.

"Morning, babe"

His voice is still rough and god I'm melting from it. Even though I hear it every morning. But who couldn´t get enough of Harry?! He´s an angel sent from above and a walking piece of perfection. Obviously in my eyes. Some people want to think that he isn´t (which I don´t get at all) but it´s their thoughts, right? He´s mine. I love him. I have to see him everyday and proudly do that. So their thoughts are quite irrelevant.

I don´t wanna know how many people hate on me. I certainly  don´t give a single fuck what people think about me but hearing it in person hurts. Obviously does. Especially when they hate on your voice ( that your so proud of now) and the lyrics (where are your emotion is written inside). Some people don´t even know about the things they´re hating on which is odd but humans are like that. But you never know if they mean it or just want to hate on you.

"Morning, love"

"You sure, that you're alright!?! I want you to be fine, you know?! You have to tell me when you aren't feeling good.."

I nod and hug him as tight as possible.

"I would have told you already if I wasn't feeling okay! "

"Okay.."

He kisses me again and it's like the time stopped. It's just me and him. Harry now laying on me, his lips on mine. There's no place I would rather be, nothing I would rather do. I only need Harry. Without him I couldn't be happy. He's the one thing of my heart that was missing and I needed to find. I'm so glad I found it years ago.

He stops the kiss and lays his head on my breast.

"I love your heart beat, Louis. It's beautiful."

"Awww, so my heart beat gets your love?!"

"Yep.."

I hold on my breath and breath out. Coughing so he looks up.

"You love that tiny thing of me but not me?!"

"Never said that.."

I shake my head and try to be serious but that little dork is making it not easy. Giggling like a little school girl.

"I love you, Harry. More than I ever did any one else!"

"Love you more, Louis."

He kisses my nose softly. A little knock and a "Breakfast here" stops us. Harry stands up and gets it. He thanks her and closes the door locking it. He comes to me with silver colored tablet. On it are a tea and some bread with butter. I pout.

"When it is going to an end with that diet I'm gonna starve!! I want ham and eggs!!"

"I will make you some ham and eggs when we are at home, ok!?"

"But that will be in like a century!! Harry!! I'm fucking starving!!"

"That's going to be in not more than two weeks, okay!? Calm down!! I will get you something today while you have your check-ups! "

I smile and kiss his cheek.

"Okay. "

"But first you have to eat it!"

I sigh and eat that bread and drink the tea. Not much later the doctor knocks again, saying that "he's ready ". Harry unlocks the door and the doctor and two nurses coming in. They get my bed and bring me to the checkups.

 

 

Harry PoV

No kiss. He went to the checkup without giving me a kiss! I pout a little before I leave the hospital. I have to get out. I don't really know anymore how long the checkups will take so I'll return to the hospital in two or three hours, just in case. The first place where I'm heading to is to Niall. Of course, it´s Niall because the chance of finding more than one member of our band is always the biggest at Niall´s. He´s just the one who has always good and much food and beer. I suppose that´s the reason and not that he´s him. (Like he wishes. )

I knock on his door and all three lads are hugging me immediately.

"Hi"

I smile at them and entry the house. Which is quite weird, considering those monkeys on me. When we´re inside, they let me go. 

"Where's Louis!? Since when do YOU leave your 'baby' alone?!"

I give Liam the darkest look like I'd like to kill him but smile at him after a few seconds.

"He has some checkups where I'm not allowed to be and I thought I needed to go out of the hospital. Plus I need to get Louis something proper to eat."

I chuckle and sit down on the couch.

"Oh.. "

"What are you guys planning to do today!?"

The door opens and one of our mangers entries.

"They will have an interview and as you seem to have some time now... "

He gives me an pissed look. Even though I didn't do anything wrong. Well, okay, they are always pissed at me and Louis. I got used to it now- more or less.

"You will be able to join them. We will have to change the theme of the interview because a certain kind of publicity is always good but I think your appearance  even though Louis´ would be nicer will be good.. Now , get in the car!!"

The boys give me a look telling me how sorry they are. They don't have to! I shrug and follow them.

At the studios we get dressed into black pants and white shirts. They put us some makeup on, what i hate so much. First I can put makeup on on myself. Secondly I don't like that makeup. Also I want to go to the hospital again. I didn't get something for Louis and I don't know how long that interview will take. I sigh. Right in this moment Niall hugs me from the back.

"Everything okay?!"

"Yeah, of course.."

I fake a smile but Niall turns to sit in the chair in front of me.

"I'm your best friend! Tell me! You don't look ok !"

"I- I .. It's nothing.."

I shrug but he gives me the say-it-or-I-will-kill-you-face. Of course he knows that I´m not really okay with being here. He probably knew it already when our manager came.

"I don't want to do this! I don't want anybody to know more about that accident! They know enough to hurt Louis on twitter. He doesn't say that it hurts him but since the one time I gave him his phone and he went on twitter he didn't touch it anymore! Like didn´t even look at it. He must have seen or read something mean or disturbing. "

I try to breath.

"The haters shouldn't get to know about Louis' state.. I mean he's okay but I don't know when Louis' will be allowed to tour, etc.."

He hugs me again.

"Harry! You don't have to say anything! Just for one time, do not give a single fuck about what management says. If it gets to private then don't talk about it!!"

A voice - much likely from a young woman- shouts through the room that the interview will start in 3 minutes and that we have to get on the couch etc..

"I try, Niall.."

"We will help you, ok!?"

He smiles and goes with me to the couch for the interview. Liam and Zayn are already there and in quite a discussion as they don't notice us or anyone else.

We hit them once and then they realise that the interviews gotta start in a few seconds. They laugh shortly and sit up straight.

 

 

"Here we are again, but I'm certainly not alone anymore."

A blonde woman smiles firstly at the camera and then gestures to us.

"We have some special guests here. 4 boys of One Direction. Welcome."

We nod and fake her a smile. The camera gets a little wave from all four of us.

"So, to be honest, I didn't know that Harry would be here.. So applause for Harry for taking his time.."

She looks me in the eyes with some sorrow. Of course she knows of Louis´accident and I suppose she also knows that management wants me here.

"I heard of the accident one of your lads had, how's Louis?!"

"He's good at the moment."

I can't smile. I don't want to. Even though I'm happy and he's fine but it's nothing all those idiots all over the world should get to know. It´s private and just because it happened to a boyband member doesn´t mean that it is an open thing for everyone to know every detail about.

"You are the only one who spent all day and all night with him, am I right!?"

I nod.

"So, where there complications!?"

I start playing with my hands. Niall notices and talks for me.

"I don't think we should talk about the accident, it´s obviously too fresh you know? .. also we shouldn´t talk about Louis' health without him being here, right?! He´s alive so he has the right to decide what to talk about when he´s ready."

She shrugs.

"Yeah, but one single question to Harry.. You and Louis must have a good bond to each other, haven't you?!"

"We have it since the start- since X-Factor."

She looks at me a bit furious. Did I say to less for that bitch or what?! It's my life. Louis' and my story, and nothing any one except us should be concerned about.

"You guys will have a tour next year right!? The whole year!?? Isn't that a bit much- especially for Louis?!"

My mouth opens. What!? Whaaaaat?! I close it but still in disbelief. Management didn´t! They fucking didn´t decide that! WHAT THE FUCK!

Liam smiled at her.

"Yeah, but we had to cancel our European and North American leg. So we thought we make a complete new tour and visit some new places too. The tickets everyone got for the concerts of this year will be the ones for the next year. Of course only those who had to be canceled. Almost same date. Only the year wrong. "

"wow.. You must really love your fans,huh.."

And so on goes the interview. I don't talk anymore. Without Louis it isn't an interview I'd like to be in. And it's gonna be the last without him.

 

"One single question and you're free.. Who of you is taken!?"

Only Zayn rises his hand. I almost did it too but I saw management looking at me furiously. So I didn't.

"Only you. But you and your misses are engaged , right!? Thats wonderful!!"

Zayn nods and smiles.

"What about you Harry!? Any girl you're interested in?!"

I shake my head. Nope. No single girl could me turn straight. I love Louis for fucks sake. But that's none of her business.

"Is it because of the time you spent in the hospital?! There must be pretty girls too, you know.."

"The time I'm in hospital is only for Louis. Not any person could change that."

"Alright! Wait.. I missed one question.."

She laughs a bit and looks at me again. Oh no. Shut the fuck up, please.

"Is that rumor true that Louis broke up with Eleanor!?"

"They were never together.."

Our manager almost jumped here to choke me (I swear I saw it in his eyes and his fists) but he didn't. I only got a really furious look.

"So you say your management put that up!? Why!?"

"It isn't .. I- I was joking.. Of course they were together.. I'm just a little angry on here.. Because she hurt Louis really much.."

With hurt I don´t mean mentally, obviously, as we are together. I refer to her and her bodyguards or however to call those guys hurting him physically.

"So Louis is still hurt because of the break up!?"

"His pain got less.."

I swallow. I hope he doesn't see the interview. Well, I will have to show him as I don't wanna hide anything from him or lie to him.

 

"Yeah, and that was One Direction."

She says her goodbyes and I immediately leave the studio. I head to a market and get some sweets, veggies and even a piece of cake. I hope Louis' doctor won't kill me for that. Then I take the next cab that drives by.

 

As I am in Louis' room he's already there and watches me interested.

"Harold!!! Here you are! I missed you! Where were you, young man!?"

I chuckle to lighten up his mood. He doesn´t show it but I think he´s hurt that I let him be here alone after what happened the last time.

"I had to make an interview and got you some things to eat"

I show him the plastic bag and he immediately smiles.

"I hope you have some chocolate for me!"

"Of course I have! How went your checkup!?"

He smiles and takes the chocolate. Giving me a kiss as thank you.

"Well, pretty good. If I take some higher doses pills , I will be able to leave tomorrow."

"Really!?"

He smiles, giving me more kisses.

"But I'm not allowed to do much. No interviews, no concert. For a little while.. Unfortunately.."

"Why!? You are fine, aren't you!?"

"But it could get worse and I promised it the doc. "

"If you say so.. But oh my god!! We'll be able to sleep in our own bed tomorrow!! I love you so much!!"

"Awwwh Harry, love you more."

Immediately I get out my phone and send the boys messages. They have to tidy up our house and make some cake, etc for a little welcome home party. Only for us five but though. We have to celebrate this.

 


	21. chapter 21

Louis PoV

 

The way Harry got so excited and happy only makes me look forward to tomorrow a lot more. I will see my house. Our house. Harry' House. Or whatever I should call it. I can't quite remember it. Only that Harry and me painted some walls red once. And that he had red color in his hair. I chuckle. That was a great day. Really great day.

"What's so funny, babe?"

Harry tries to look jealous at me. Or serious. But I don't like it. Even if it's fake.

"You remember that day you got red color in your wonderful curls?"

His serious expression fades away and he smiles with red cheeks. So beautiful. His dimples are making it even cuter. He nods and sits down to my bed taking my hands in his.

"Are you allowed to walk? I mean the last time you moved a little bit you happened to get that thing in your head"

He swallows and looks a bit worried. I kiss his hand and smile.

"Yeah, we should try it. If I'm too weak we'll get an wheelchair to make it a bit easier for me. God , I hate this."

I pout and a little tear is falling down my cheek. Harry kisses it away and hugs me.

"Louis, Lou, Boo bear, Boo, Lewis.. Don't be sad.. Everything will be okay in a little while okay?! If the wheelchair is better for your health than enjoy me driving you theough the streets ok! I´ll have to carry your everyshere which means I´ll always have to be on your side. ALWAYS!!!"

I laugh.

"Call me LEWIS again and I will cut your hair! Even though it's pretty sexy. I love that length."

I didn't notice how long his hair grew in the last weeks. Is it because of me being here that he didnt cut it or does he like it as much as I do?

"Don't you dare come near my hair with a scissor or any other machine!!"

He kisses me and cuddles me as tight as possible. Harry starts to kiss my neck and that makes me pretty.. well horny. To be honest.

"Babe, I don't want... Uhmm.. I thought we could do it tomorrow at home.. I.. Ughh"

His bites get more and more and he doesn't even listen. Why doesn't he want to listen.

"Harry!"

My serious tone and expression catches immediately his attention and he stops looking at me. His cheeks are quite red.

"Yeah?"

He looks quite sad. As if I didnt would want to. That boy drives me crazy.

"The doc will come in like 5 mins to check on me because of tomorrow.."

Harry shrugs and grins.

"We can make it quick if you want too.."

I shake my head.

"I don't want anything akward to happen. Please, Harry.."

He nods, but I can see how disappointed he really is. But I just can't. I can't remember anything about him and me getting a bit more intimate. I remember our first time but that contained me being in him. And we both know that he wants to make me feel good. But... Does it hurt? I mean I know what to do but I'm actually really afraid of it. And I don't want to ruin that Harry can enjoy it. Only because I'm afraid or in a bit pain.

"Soo, where's the doctor? "

I shrug. Why should I know where he is? I only know that he said he would come around three pm and it is even a few minutes after it. Harry ends our hug and sits up. Facing the wall and staring at it. I watch him sadly.

"What is wrong with you, Louis? Why don't you want to have a bit more fun with me?"

I hear how hurt he is. I sit up and try to hug him but he shakes it off. Till a few seconds ago I  thought it would be a little bit fake. That he just wants to laugh it off but he really seems hurt.

"Did I do anything wrong?"

I guess he's more talking to him then to me.

"Did the doctor even tell you he would come?"

My mouths open and closes immediately. I hit him softly and turn him to me.

"You really think that I would lie to you?"

"I only know that you said like fifteen minutes ago that he would come in five. And we both know that the doc comes when he says that he comes."

"He said that he would come. I don't why he doesn't come!"

"But you know why you don't want me to make you feel good!"

I sigh.

"Harry.."

"No, I understand it's okay.."

"No! It isn't.."

Tears start to fall down my cheek and I take his hand in mine. He tries to pull them away but I keep them.

"Harry, I'm afraid.."

He chuckles lightly but sees that I mean it. So he hugs me.

"Babe, it's alright! Why didnt you say it earlier? I thought we don't have secrets?"

I look away. Cheeks totally red.

"It's embarrassing.."

A knock on the door disturbs our talk and the doctor entries the room.

"Louis! I'm so sorry that I'm so late. I had an emergency and forgot to tell a nurse to come.. Are you okay?"

I breath in and out and smile at him.

"Okay, yeah I'm alright."

Harry looks away and I can see that he's sorry and embarrassed because he really thought I lied to him. How could he even think of it? I want to marry him and I would like to lie as less as possible. I hate lies and he knows it. H really should know that. 

"Well, alright.. Did you tell your fiance about it?"

I nod.

"Okay, I just got your higher dosed pills and some drops if you get dizzy or something else in that direction. But if anything bad happens you have to get as fast as possible in the hospital, okay? Did you two try if you can walk?"

I shake my head.

"You have to do it! It's important! I want you to come to the hospital for checkups: the first month every week once and then we will look how we should go on. You will probably be able to go on tour next year. And lastly you'll have to relax at home okay? Mr Styles , you'll have to do everything he wants you to do and take care of him. But I guess, he already told you.. Plus, I think I can trust you. I see how much you care for him. Well, that's it. We'll see each other tomorrow morning and then your free!"

He laughs and leaves again. Harry intertwines our fingers and keeps looking at my engagement ring. He smiles but suddenly it fades. Totally sad he look up to me. Tears about to fall.

"You have to take it off tomorrow.. Just tomorrow, please."

I furrow my eyebrows.

"Excuse me? Why would I  want to do that?"

He kiss my ring and looks up again at me.

"There will be paparazzis. I can feel it."

"Harry, nobody knows about me coming home."

He shrugs. A smile growing in his face again.

"Okay, if you say so. Then keep it on. Looks better anyway."

"I know right. Know what would be better as engagement rings?"

"Wedding rings? "

He smiles sheepishly and I nod as answer.

"What do you think of making a date tomorrow after coming home? I want you to be Mr. Tomlinson as soon as possible."

"You are going to be Mr. Styles, love."

I shake my head.

"Harry Edward Tomlinson is way more beautiful than Louis William Styles."

"You don't wanna take my name, hmm.."

"What?! Don't be mad, I just think.. I'd be .."

"It's okay. So, I'll take your name. Whatever you wish."

I smile and hug and kiss him

"Really?! Oh Harry..thank you so so much"

"It's alright, I love you and don't wanna fight over our last name..Plus Harry Tomlinson sounds nice. But I think we should try if you're able to walk though.."

I nod but don't move a millimeter.

"C'Mon, Lou, stand up!"

I shake my head. Maybe I'm really afraid something like last time could happen.

 

 

 

Harry PoV

 

Louis starts to bite his nails. Wow. He must be really afraid of it. At first, I thought he was only joking. But I nearly ever saw him biting his nails, and when I did, he was pretty nervous or afraid. I immediately hug him and whisper into his ear that it is ok. But he ends the hug watching me a bit furiously. Or hurt. I don't know. His expression is unreadable right now.

"It isn't that easy Harry. Shrugging it off with a few lovely words and a damn hug."

I furrow my eyebrows.

"Wha-"

"I'm afraid that I'll get a hemorrhage thingy again. Don't you understand. I'm afraid that I could die this time."

I hug him again. He pushes his hands on my chest, hitting way to strong and sobbing into my neck, I keep him here. He needs it. I don't understand how he lets out his pain and worry but I understand why he's worried. I'm worried, too. But I didn't ask him to run a marathon now. Just staying up and taking a few steps. Not more. I know last time he got unconscious. But I guess it comes from the accident, his amnesia, all the hectic, me proposing and maybe because of Liam being so sad. All that things made him a bit weak and I don't know. I'm not a doctor, I can't know how or why that happened. I don't wanna know to be honest. It just shouldn't happen again. Never. I couldn't take the fear of losing him again. I lost him too many times.

"Louis.."

He keeps sobbing and whispers a very quietly "yeah?".

"What ya think of that I put my hands around your waist while you try to walk only two steps. Not more, promised?"

He nods and lets go of me.

"Harry, you're shirt.. It's wet.. That is gross."

Louis smiles a bit and kisses me before trying to stay up.

"Wow, Louis not that fast! Let me help ya!"

I immediately jump out of my bed and hold my hands to his and help him standing up.

"Here we go."

Louis smiles. But I can see that he's still afraid. I put my arm around his waist. He stands still on the ground but shakes like there is a earthquake.

"Shh, babe.. Your feet didn't get hurt on the accident. Calm down. Everything will be okay."

"It isn't that easy."

"I know, trust me. Take step after step. I look after you."

"I know, Haz. I know."

He smiles.

"I love you! Harry, I love you so much."

He takes a step forward and another. With every step he takes, he gets more excited and starts to giggle.

"Look! Harry, I didnt fall! I'm okay! Nothing happened!"

He jumps and hugs me. Kiss after kiss on my neck and my lips, he jumps around like a little girl.

"Harry, can we go downstairs? Is there a park? I want to go outside! Please, can we go outside?!"

I chuckle and kiss him back.

"Of course, we can."

After an hour outside ( Louis and me sitting on a bench and Louis smiling at every little kid), Louis got tired and wanted me to go in the room again. So, here we are. Louis lays on my chest and sleeps. Every now and then he keeps saying that he wants a kid from me. A girl and a boy. But I think it's only because all the kids we saw outside. It's too early for him. Not for us. We wanted kids since we were only a few months together. Yeah, much of those talks were only jokes but I know that he was as serious as me sometimes.

"Love ya, Haz."

How cute he is, talking to me while sleeping. He must be dreaming of me - of us.

"Yes, I will"

His hand wander to mine and he holds it tight. His smile grows and that's the last move I notice before I fall asleep too.

 


	22. chapter 22

Louis PoV

 

"You have to put a bandana on before we drive home!"

"Why?"

"Because I said so!"

I pout and shrug. Why does he want me to wear a bandana? He´s the one looking gorgeous with them. He wouldn´t say this without reason, though. He also wouldn´t want to humilate me in anyway with a clothing accessorize. I sigh looking at him, smile unsure. 

"Okay, but don't try to put any joke on me!"

"I wouldn't, love."

He grins and gives me a long kiss before putting said bandana around my head. He puts it over my eyes and helps me into the car. Well, that seems crazy. I wont say that I don't like it. To be honest, I like it when Harry looks after me. And maybe he has a surprise or something like this and that's way I'm not allowed to see anything? That makes it worth wearing that stupid bandana. Even though I thought I would have had to wear it in another way.

"How did you get your car here, Haz?"

He starts the car and starts to drive.

"Niall brought it here yesterday night."

"Why didn´t he visit?"

"Because he.. I dunno.. he hadn't enough time. I'm glad he brought me my car."

"Me, too. "

"Are you okay? Under the bandana? I hope you can't see anything!"

He chuckles and takes my right hand into his left.

"Harry, I don't know for sure if you are looking at me right now but if, then you have to fucking look on the street! I don't wanna go to the hospital again that soon."

He sighs and probably looks on the street again.

"You didn´t answer my question, Lou!"

I play with my fingers and look ( the bandana is still over my eyes) to him.

"What question?"

"Are you okay with not seeing anything? If it's too bad for you, I'll let you keep it down until we're almost home."

"Is it that long until we are there? At home?"

"No! Only like five minutes.. Ooh okay. Forget what I said, we're home now. I'm a fool, sorry."

"Shut up, Harry."

He already stopped the car but still sits inside. The excitement grows every second. I plan to pet his shoulder, but my hand ends up on his thigh. I blush but still keep my hands there.

"Haaaaaarrrrrreeeehhh, when can we go in?"

"Now, if you want.."

I furrow my eyebrows. Okay? But he stops me before I can even ask by kissing me softly.

"Do you wanna go inside now, Louis?"

I bite my lips and swallow. My blush keeps on growing.

"I dunno.."

The excitement gets replaced with fear. This is one of the last places I were before the accident happened. And I had a big fight with Harry there. Also I don´t know what to do in there. What we´ll do there? Are other people in there or are we alone? What do I have to do when we´re alone? Has Harry anything planned for the only two of us, if we are alone? So many thoughts are in my head, at the moment. I don´t like it, to be honest. I´m so insecure and I´m pretty sure I wasn´t like that all too often before the accident.

"I'm sorry."

I start sobbing and Harry immediately puts down my bandana and looks at me worried and confused.

"Louis? What - ? Are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry."

He shakes his head and kisses me softly. I suppose he didn´t think that this would go in that direction. To be honest, I thought the same. Well, at least before we came here.

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong!"

"Yes, I did! I shouldn't have been such an arsehole that day. I should have stayed and should have talked with you... I should have thought about a way out, with you. And not alone."

I start crying and sobbing harder. He gets out the car and walks around it so he opens my door and hugs me as tight as possible.

"Shh, Louis. I love you. Lets forget about the past and make a better future, okay?"

He kisses my forehead and doesn't stop hugging me.

"Okay.. Can.. Can we go in now??"

"Course. Only one condition."

He grins and kisses my forehead again. 

"Which?"

I blush. I´m pretty sure that he wants to do something silly. Of course, he does. It´s Harry we´re speaking about. He loves doing extraordinaire things. Especially when it´s about me and making me happy. I pat his cheek softly.

"I'm allowed to carry you inside."

I slap his arm and chuckle.

"Of course. But you're not allowed to, you have to do it!!"

He chuckles, too, and nods. He carries me in. He goes through a big garden and stops at the front door.

"You have to go down from me for a little moment, love, or I won´t be able to open the door.."

"I don't know if it's true but I kinda remember how you manage to do this with me on your arms.."

He shrugs and keeps me on his arms. I feel how weak he have gotten. But it's actually nothing that makes me wonder a bit. Harry didn't work out the last weeks and months. Because of me he's weaker. And thinner too. He didn't eat much either in the last time. Harry opens the door and goes inside a little bit till he stops. He helps me stand on the ground and kisses me. After it I immediately hug him and cuddle myself into his chest.

"I love you, Harry! So, so much!!"

"Love you, too, Lou."

I look up at him again and meet his wonderful green eyes. They are shining and so is Harry in some way. He smiles and I love to see him like that so much.

"Let's go into the living room, shall we?"

I nod.

"Sure, why not."

He lays his arm around my waist and shows me the way there. The door is closed. He opens it and you can't see anything. Even though it's like 10 am, there's no light. I step a bit more in it and suddenly three boys jump out of nowhere and hug me. At first I can't tell who those guys are, but I don't even have to guess who those guys are. I can feel it.

"Welcome back, Larry!!"

All three still keep hugging me. The light slowly comes in to the room. Harry has probably opened the curtains. The three lads end the hugs and help me to the sofa. I sit down and smile at everyone gratefully. Liam, Niall and Zayn did a wonderful job with this surprise. I never had thought anyone would come to give me something like a welcome back party. I thought there only would be Harry and me enjoying being finally alone and home. But this is fine, too. Harry sits down next to me and leaves a soft kiss on my shoulder. The other three sit down too. They look at us with a creepy smile. I don't know why. Niall takes a letter out of his jacket and smiles at us. Even creepier than before.

"For you two! It's a present from us three. We hope you enjoy it."

 


	23. Chapter 23

Louis PoV

 

Harry and me look at each other confused. A present for us two. What could it be? What could be in that letter? Harry shrugs and kisses my shoulder before he lays his head down in it. Niall gives me the letter and immediately all eyes are on me. I'm literally watched from all sides. It gets me nervous and I don't like this feeling. Not at all. Yeah, I know that they are my best friends and there´s nothing to worry about but still. I don´t like being watched like that. I bite my lips swallowing down every anxious thought.

I open it with shaky hands and a tiny little piece of paper flies on my tights. I take it in my hand, even more confused now, and read it.

23.7.

I'm getting more and more confused. What is this for? I turn my head a bit so I can see Harry (more or less). He smiles at me. I suppose this day has a deeper meaning than originally thought. What could it be? The first day Harry and I met? Our first date? Did anything happen on this day, though? Maybe we had some plans for that day before everything happened. 

"What does this mean?"

Harry shrugs softly and kisses my nose.

"I don't know but it's our band's anniversary then.. And it's in one week."

I turn my head to look at Niall who smiles.

"Niall?"

"Yeah?"

I look him deadly in the eyes but he doesn't say anything. Nice. Really nice.

"What is on this day?"

"Guess.."

He smiles cheekily and chuckles softly. I think about everything that could happen on this day in the near future and what could be so special about it. What could be special for the two of us. Wait. Not really. Oh my god. I jump from the sofa ( which causes that Harry falls -not that softly - on the ground) and hug Niall.

"So you like the idea?"

"Ouch.. Which idea?! Niall? Louis? Hello?!"

I break the hug from me and Niall and hug the others too. Then I turn to Harry and notice him laying on the floor. I go back to him and sit onto his lap.

"What idea? What is this date for?"

Now all boys stand up and sit down next to us.

"Your wedding, Harry."

He opens his mouth but no words are able to come out. Some tears are falling down his cheeks.

"What?!"

I gently push my fingers over his tears. Wow. I can´t stop smiling. This is the best gift someone could have made me - made us.

"We thought you would like it.."

"Nonono yes of course I like it. But we only have one week!"

I kiss Harry's nose. We are going to marry next week. We are going to be Louis and Harry Tomlinson next week. This will be so perfect! Everything will be so beautiful for once. But. 

"Guys? There's one problem.."

Everyone's looking at me again now. Finally, everyone else is confused and not only me. Yay...

"M-Management.."

The smile is out of my face and I'm totally sad now. The would never let us marry. Never. They would find a way to destroy the wedding and the most beautiful in my life. They will do everything to not let this happen! Liam starts to laugh. Why does he start to laugh?

"It's okay, Tommo. It won't be such a big celebration as you're not that well right now and no one except us and family members know about it. Plus we will find a loop hole to end our contract but let's talk about something else.."

A loophole. That means we're going to be free soon? Will we find a new management? What is with the upcoming tour? What is with our fans? I sigh and nod. He's right. We should talk and think about it later or tomorrow. Or some other day. 

Harry coughs and looks at Zayn. He's being quite quiet.

"What did you guys plan for us? We have the date and it seems like you have a guest list already. What can Louis and I do?"

As I'm getting a little bit dizzy and not really comfortable, I stand up and lay down on the sofa. Harry looks a bit worried but I mouth an "I´m okay" and he nods. I know that he doesn´t believe me but he at least acts like he does. He stands up though and sits down on the arm of the sofa I´m laying on. He keeps on eying me in this way. The other stand up too and sit down on the other sofa.

"You and Louis actually only have to look for your suits, your rings and that little speech. As those three things seem quite personal, you know? We shouldn´t have a say in them. Maybe if you want our help but it´s your wedding and those things are as said very personal. I keep on repeating myself.."

"Thank you so much"

I feel how Harry hugs everyone and sits back next to me again and looks at me worried.

"Everything okay, Louis?"

I nod.

"Yeah. Just a bit dizzy and tired. I'm sorry!"

He shakes his head and so do the others.

"You don't have to be, babe."

"I'm destroying this party."

Zayn starts to laugh and comes to me and knees down.

"Lou, we're here for you! It's okay! Plus we're so happy to have you here again. We missed you. That house looked always so strange and empty when we went by it. We're so happy that you're better now. We missed having you weirdo here."

I shake my head. No, it isn't okay. Not really. But I'm glad that they all love and care about me so much. However. Harry starts to play with my fingers and it catches me totally off guard. He's so concentrated and looks so cute. I intertwine our fingers and he pouts shortly. But then he looks up and kisses me softly.

"I love you, Louis!"

I smile.

"Love you, too, Harry. To the moon and back."

It's quite quiet right now. Except of us. I look a bit to the site but can't see anyone. I sit a bit up and so does Harry ( who looks quite confused by the way). Now I look through the room. No one. Those idiots left.

"We are alone. Nice party haha.."

Harry starts to giggle, kisses me again and starts to tickle me.

"Stop it- Ha "

I don't get more words out. I only laugh and kick him. But he just doesn't stop.

"Hharry"

I don't even laugh any more because it really begins to hurt.

"I can't breath."

He stops and looks at me worried.

"I- I'm sorry.. Just wanted to-"

I immediately stop him by kissing him. My heartbeat is higher than ever and I can't stop smiling into this kiss. I stop it and look at his wonderful green eyes.

"I want kids, Harry.. I want kids with YOU.."

"Wait what?"

"You heard me."

He smiles, kisses my nose.

"You're too weak right now. A kid needs two healthy parents, babe."

I pout. That's not fair. I want to have a little family with him. But he's right, unfortunately. I lay my head on his shoulder and close my eyes. He's right. It's too early, right now. We have to fix me and us before we can make our little two person family bigger.

"You know that I want a little kid too.. I just want you to get healthy again.. Losing you again would be the death for me."

I sigh and nod softly.

"I know."

He starts to play with my fingers again. But I'm too deep in thought to stop it by intertwining them or doing anything.

I still can't believe that I didnt believe that we were together at first. He looked so strange, yet so familiar to me. Only by looking into his eyes after waking up, I knew that I knew this eyes from somewhere. But after telling him that I can't remember him or our relationship, there was something in his eyes I never want to see again. Never. He looked so broken. So done.

I sigh quietly and put my arms around him. Yes, I disturb Harry playing with my fingers, but I don't notice that really. I just want to be near Harry. As near as possible.

"Everything okay?"

I open my eyes and look into his. Harry looks worried. I simple nod and kiss his cheek.

"You look sad and tired.."

"I'm quiet tired, yes."

I smile lightly and close my eyes again. This idiot who calls himself my fiance stands up which causes me to fall to the side. I immediately open my eyes again- totally shocked. But he just puts one hand under my legs and the other one on my shoulder. He lifts me up and smiles.

"Harold, what are you doing? If I may ask?!"

He chuckles and leaves this room. While he walks quietly through the house and ends up in front of a closed door, I keep looking at him. He's such a wonderful person. But he still doesn't manage to tell me what the heck he's doing.

"Harold!!"

He looks at me with a grin.

"Yes, Lewis?"

I look him dead in the eyes and I hope he gets it that this is too much.

"Hey! You called me Harold, what isn't my name and -"

I sigh.

"Alright.. I'm sorry.. Can you open this door so I know already where we are?"

He nods and opens the door.

 


	24. Chapter 24

Louis PoV

In the moment he entries the room, I´m getting a really familiar feeling. I feel at home. Funny, how that one room can make me feel that way. But I think that being with Harry does the thing, too. He makes me feel at home. Because he is home. I´m not so sure about this because I´m not good with remembering such things but I think that I have once heard that Harry actually means home. If this is really true, it would be so cute. Harry is my home. Additionally, I have to say that only a few candles are lighting this room and the rest is black which makes everything romantic. So, my feeling of Harry and me getting more romantic with each other will actually come true.

But the smell of these candles and me on Harry's arms, it's just so familiar. I totally love it. Harry stops walking and looks at me with a cute smile. The little light falling on his face makes him look even cuter right now. I smile back and nearly start to cry. I love him so much and still can't believe that we're gonna get married. In only one week.  Instead of saying what I'm thinking and feeling right now, I say the most stupid thing. Just because I´m myself and sometimes say things without thinking about it- Also, because I can´t think straight at the moment.

"How did the candles catch fire?"

Harry giggles and shots me a grin.

"Really, Louis? Really? I'm trying to give you a romantic evening and all you manage to say is that?"

He kisses my forehead. Yeah, thank you, Harry. I know that this was stupid, you don't have to remind me of that.

"One of the boys did before they left.. Look the window is open. Someone must have crawled on the tree so he doesn't get caught..."

He still doesn't manage to stop laughing.

"Harold, please stop it. Don´t laugh at me."

"I thought we had talked about the Harold and Lewis thingy.."

"Yeah, I said I don't want you to call me Lewis! Doesn't mean I'm gonna stop saying Harold to you, though.."

I grin. To be honest, I'm hundred percent sure that he wants to smile too. But he just stares at me. He´s almost pouting but I know that he tries to hide it as much as possible. But I know him long enough to see and feel it. Even though I have memory problems, I can still feel it. Plus, he´s always so obvious with such things.

"Okay.. I can't really be angry with you.."

He kisses me and walks to the bed. Our bed, I suppose. I hope. I think. I want. So many months I haven't been able to spend here. Only because one fight. Only because of management. Only because of one person who couldn´t control their car and themselves.

Than it hits me like I don't know what. I don't even know why I get this memory back now. There's nothing that could make me remember. We didn't have a concert today, I also didn't talk to management and Harry and me were happy the whole day. Also, this room has no reason to remind me. Nothing that would help my memory to come back.

But as said, this memory is suddenly back. No black sight, no getting dizzy. It's just here which is weird. Anyways, I know the person who drive into my car. I know it now. I know them way too well. I know who is the cause of my amnesia. I know who is the reason for me forgetting about Harry. 

Every single moment flashes back through my eyes. Me wanting to drive back to our house because I wanted to say sorry. I actually understood his reasoning. But it just took me so long to understand. But if I had understood him earlier, I probably wouldn't have that amnesia. I remember how Harry, one of our managers, called me. Asking were I was and what I did. At first I was confused about why he wanted to know that. But now I know it. No, it wasn't actually him who drove the other car. But he got someone to drive here. This actually seems quite obvious to me. He called me to find out where I am, he probably knew that Harry and me would fight. He probably knew that I was angry and left, trying to calm me down while driving. So he called someone else to get to me. I don´t know if it was planned to actually hurt me but I´m pretty sure that he had something to do with it, too. But the main reason for the accident to happen was one person. It was the girl who I had to spend the last few years with. The girl that kind of tried to rape me in hospital. That girl is Eleanor.

Harry suddenly hits me. I look up at him and he gives me a worried look.

"Everything okay, love?"

I nod. But then I remember that I actually know it. After that long time without knowing. I know the person who is responsible for hurting Harry so much. Who the reason is that I had to spend such a long time in hospital. That's why I simply shake my head and start to sob. Harry, the good boyfriend who he is, immediately hugs me and tells me that it will get better. Of course, he asks if I want to tell him. Should I? Eleanor is already in jail. (At least that's what I hope.. I just know that she got arrested.) Would it make any difference if I say anything to anyone? I don't even have any proof. My phone. Maybe. But there's only that one call and I don't know if you can still see it. But it would say nothing as he´s my manager. It could be just a coincidence and his lawyer would say that too if i tell anyone.

"Louis, please. Tell me! Did you remember something? You must! You are always so weird when you get your memory back."

Weird? What does he mean with that? I stare at him confused.

"Weird? Why weird?"

He just shakes his head.

"You could tell me what's going on in your head at first.. But.. Weird.. Well, you're like in your own world. Probably reliving the whole situating, I don't know but it feels so weird. I can't speak to you because you wouldn't hear me or answer me. Not at all. And after it you're so deep in thought too and so quiet.."

Is he right? Am I  really like in another world after I get the memory back? I mean, I just want to understand what happened. I want to get the feelings back that I had back then. Especially with the accident, I just want to understand everything and know what happened and why.

"I know it! Harry, I can remember it, now."

I can't manage to say more. My throat suddenly hurts and is totally dry. He's totally confused. He pets my shoulder with his arms, trying to calm me down. But it's too much for me.

Soo many questions are going through my head. Why would she want to do this? Was it planned that I die? Or did they want me to lose my memory but Harry sitting next to my bed all the time fucked up their plans? Would she really do something like this only because of the money she probably got? Can someone really be that heartless? Why did they want that to happen? Did they have a reason to get me away? 

"What do you know, Louis?"

I sob in his shoulder. Whispering her name. But he can't understand me. I'm too broken and confused right now to speak clearly. He keeps trying to calm me down by petting my shoulder or kissing my forehead. But I don't know, it's just too much for me. I hope he isn't sad. I hope he doesn't think it's because of him. As if he could read my mind, he kisses my forehead again.

"I know that you don't wanna hurt me with this. Just cry. It will make you feel better. We can talk later. Now the only important thing is that you feel better. I love you, babe."

 


	25. Chapter 25

Louis PoV

Like Harry told me to, I keep crying. Maybe for one hour. Maybe two. It could also be only half an hour. But if it´s just half an hour, then it still feels like way more. Harry doesn't say anything, though. He doesn't ask me. He just protects me. Protects me and calms me down. He pets my shoulder. Kisses my forehead. I even hear him singing of one of our songs. Not of the band, but Harry and mine. Like couple songs or however to call it. Harry made me a list of song we had before the accident, that's why I can remember it that good. It's Look After You by The Fray. It's not only one of our songs but I think even one of my personal favorite songs. But I'm not so sure about that. However, I never heard Harry singing it to me. It was always me who sang it to him. I know that for sure. I have to say that I never heard something that is more beautiful and angelic. It makes me stop crying and just listen to him. Suddenly he notices that I stopped crying and looks at me with a smile and a blush. He stopped singing too. We both are just staring at each other. It's just us. Only me and Harry. I love those moments with him. Always did and always will. 

"Your voice is so amazing and beautiful, love."

He giggles and kisses me softly. I feel his arms around me and cuddle into him.

"You never sang it to me, did you?"

He nods.

"Because I love it when you sing to me, Louis."

"But I want you to sing to me too. It makes me feel so good. If that´s possible. Your voice calms me."

He laughs.

"I sang to you before the accident, while you were in coma.. Ok, I didn't since you're awake but-"

"See, I didnt hear you singing since I was in coma"

He slaps me softly.

"You didn't let me finish!"

"Ohhh, sorryy.. Still no reason to slap me!"

I pout and give him a puppy like look. He just giggles.

"You're silly, Louis."

"Ohh, thank you very much."

I look away and try to look like I'm pissed or hurt. But I guess, he knows that I´m not.

"Oh, come on, Louis! I know you for so many years now! I know that you're a good actor! But you can't fool me, I know you well too much, babe."

He giggles. I turn around and stare at him.

"I'm still not silly."

He roles his eyes.

"ok.. You're "not" silly. But you're the most adorable person I know."

I smile and almost cry. He's such a wonderful boyfriend and person.

"I love you, Harry!!"

He gives me a confused look.

"Why did it sound like you have to proof it to me.. Or like you don't know that I know it?! Uhmm.. Why did you sound so unsure?!"

I look down.

"Because .. I can't imagine that I deserve you.. You are so wonderful, nice, caring and I´m just-"

"Shhh ! Louis, you are all of that and even more too! How you dare saying that you don't deserve me!"

I look up at him. Maybe he's right, but still. Nobody deserves him, to be completely honest. Harry is probably the most nicest and caring person of this world. Maybe of this universe, if there´s life somewhere else. I can't deserve him, can I. I give my best to show it to him but he has to go through so much because of that amnesia. Yeah, I remember mostly everything now but still everything is so weird. He must be so unsure when it comes to talk about certain things. Because he can´t know what I know and what not.

He hugs me. Immediately I forget what I thought. Not really, but I forget to think about it. It's just Harry, Harry, Harry.. His smell, his hug, his body, my head on his shoulder, his strength..

"I know it"

He pets my back a bit.

"What do you know, love?"

His voice is so calming and soothing.

"The reason of my accident.."

He breaks the hug and looks at me confused.

"What do you mean?"

I look at the bed but then back at him after breathing in and out.

"I know who crashed into my car.."

His eyes get darker? I don´t know how to call it. He looks totally angry, yet worried.

"You know?! Why?! How?! Who?!"

He comes closer again and I can feel how broken and confused he is. I can understand him. I would be like that probably, too. I mean I could have died because of her. Of course, Harry must feel like that. This mix of hate and worry.

"Louis!! Who is that bastard?"

His loud voice gets me out of my thoughts and honestly I get terrified of his voice. I back away from him´. I never heard him like that. He's so broken and angry and pissed. I understand it, but it still fears me. As he sees my reaction, he breathes in and out and looks at me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you! I never want this to happen again. Sorry, sorry, sorry."

I shake my head and whisper an "it's okay".

"It-it isn´t! But... So, who is it?"

I look away. In the darkness from our room. Try not to break anything. Try to stay calm. Try not to cry. But it's just too hard.

"It's.. It's Eleanor.."

He opens his mouth, probably to say something, but no words are coming out. Understandable. I can´t believe it, either.

"No, no.. oh my god.. "

I hug him. Try to give him the calmness he gave to me minutes ago. And it seems to work.

"Are you sure, Lou?"

I nod. I'm completely sure. I don´t wanna believe it but I'm pretty sure that she's been the person. It would make so much sense. Even that thing that happened in the hospital would make sense. Maybe she didn't want to rape me, but try to kill me again? She was choking me and the grips of her bodyguards weren't that soft too. I look shocked at Harry. She didn´t try to rape me! She wanted to kill me because she probably guessed that I would find out soon. They want me dead!

"Yeah, I am."

"We should go to the police then.."

"But I don't have any proof!"

He roles his eyes and sighs.

"Louis, we have to go to the police! You could have died because of her! She should get into jail and never get out again!"

"And so do our managers... Or at least one of them."

"W-what?!"

"I think that Harry gave her the information where I was and she crashed into me. Or something like this. I don´t know what they planned, I just know what I saw. But he called me and asked were I was. Like ten minutes later she crashed into me.. "

He is confused and pissed and worried and I can't even say what else he must feel. But I know for sure that he won't do nothing. It's Harry. He wants her to get in jail. Wants her to feel sorry for doing what our managers want her to. She could have killed me. 

"We will go to the police office,.. Tomorrow with Liam, ok?"

I nod. I don´t want to go there but I guess he's right. We should tell the police. 

"But let's forget about this for the last part of this evening, right? That.. person.. won't make our evening bad. They made us suffer enough. We had such a nice day.. We should be able to end it nice, too."

Again, I nod. But additionally to it I kiss him passionately. He chuckles and kisses me back. And that's basically it, what we are doing that evening and night. Only kissing and it doesn't feel like "just kissing". It's more than that because Harry is with me.

 


	26. Chapter 26

Louis PoV

 

Waking up by a sweet smell in my nose and the first rays of dawn on my face, I smile into the pillow. The window is also open. But what is this smell though? It isn´t the disinfected smell of the hospital. Are those.. some pancakes in my nose? Yeah, I think that are pancakes. Yummy. The smell is so close, yet so far away. Still my eyes closed, I only can imagine those tasty pancakes. Well, I can't do something else then opening my eyes ( to look for my (?) breakfast). And actually I'm opening them to something that's even better. Or let's say a special some-one who´s better to wake up to. The first thing I see after waking up is my wonderful fiance smiling at me.

  
"Morning, love. As you might have already figured by the smell.. I made some pancakes.."

  
He smiles at me and kisses me softly. Wow, I could get used to this again. Waking up to that wonderful man in our bed, breakfast,.. Can my life with him can get any better?!

"Good morning, Harry!! Awwwe.. How nice and cute and lovely of you! Thank you so much, babe!"

I peck his cheek and sit up - ready to go to the kitchen and eat there- but Harry immediately stops me by giving me one plate with those wonderful looking (and 100% tasting too!!!) pancakes. So, that's why the smell seemed so near.. But I couldn´t locate them because I had my eyes closed.

  
"Open your sweet mouth, huney!"

  
He sits down next to me and takes a forkful from them. His smile is so beautiful right now. Well, actually, it´s always beautiful but right now it´s even better. Because it is a true smile and he´s happy. I could melt by his smile, though. I could melt b everything Harry is and does. His dimples showing and his eyes totally shinny and he just looks happy and in love. With me. Oh my god. I honestly still can't put it in words how happy I am with having him. How happy I am that everything is turning good again.

  
I do as told and he actually starts feeding me. I can't say how much I love him. He's the cutest little shit on this world and I´m so glad that he´s solely mine. I stare at him and I suppose my eyes look similar to the ones of the heart eye emoticon.

  
"Louis?! Hun?! You have to bite and swallow it.. "

  
He giggles softly. I nod and do it. I guess I've been a little in thought. Haha.  
Blushing I smile at him. He kisses my cheek and feeds me again.   
As he stops it shortly, I look at him worried.

  
"Won't you eat something, Harry? I will feed you too! But please eat something!"

  
He giggles and shakes his head. I furrow my eyebrows. He should be eating, too! Just because I came from hospital yesterday doesn´t mean that he´s not priority. Because he is! He should eat enough and should be treated well and good. I´m giving my best but it´s hard to do so.

  
"Not hungry, Louis. Already had an apple. Plus it's all about you right now! You're still not okay and I will look after you as long as you're not feeling good... Ok.. To be honest, I'll never stop looking after you, but you know what I mean."

  
I nod and kiss him. Arguing won´t help now. Because Harry surely will win somehow. Charming me into doing what he wants me to. Tststs. He´s just too adorable.

  
"You're the most perfect fiancé someone can have, Harry!! I love you!"

 

 

~•~

 

 

Later this day we come home very exhausted. First we went to the police station and then Harry took me to some new fancy restaurant. The second thing was very funny and nice and romantic of course. But my body isn't really ready for all that. Reporters. Interviewers. Fans. I'm just too weak yet to be able to stand this. I smiled. Or tried my hardest but I am way to weak and that's why I'll stay inside the next week. I have to be fit for our wedding! I don't wanna collapse before saying 'yes'. I would hate myself so much if that happened, to be honest. However, the police station. As I got inside of it, they seemed to know why I was there. (Not because of my assumption that she tried to kill me but because of her in general.) It all worked out quite well. They believed me. They wrote everything down I told them. Sometimes they would ask me for details but I think that wasn't that much the case. Because to be really honest I said so much that it´d be enough. Hopefully. But one of those men told me that she'll be in jail for very long. The problem is with Harry Magee, one of our managers. He was the one who told her to do this. But he has such a good lawyer that he won't get any harm. He'll stay in freedom. But he'll have to pay. Much. I don't how much as there was no process already but it will be much. That's a promise from my lawyer and the policemen. I don't give a shit about the money. Really not. I rather see him in jail but however.. Maybe he will learn from his mistakes?!

Sadly Liam didn´t accompany us. Apparently he and the boys aren´t finished yet with everything of the wedding. We told him that it doesn´t matter, that we could help afterwards but he denied. I roll my eyes at thinking about that. He can´t just speak about my wedding and then not expect me to want to help. However. Liam couldn´t come. But we managed. I managed. Hearing that the chance of my manager getting into jail is way too small to come actually true, made me sob. But that was basically the most emotional thing that happened. Harry, though, wasn´t like his natural sweet self. Which is understandable. But I never saw him with such a strong clenched jaw and he looked like he would jump at someone any second if they´d say something wrong. The moment we got out there was probably the best in his life - our life-, he hugged me and immediately wanted to get away from there. Which is why we got to the restaurant. As this wasn´t planned, no one could have known that we were there. But somehow dozen of people did. I wouldn´t have minded the fans. But the paparazzi were so unnecessary. Damn, Harry and I just wanted to get somewhere to calm down. Inside, we had some peace, of course, because the chef there knows Harry and got us some table where no one can see us. I just don´t like getting into this mass of people just yet. It makes me stressed and uneasy. I can´t understand how I have ever liked that. And those people weren´t even much. How did I manage a stadium concert?!

  
"You hungry?"

  
Harry giggles, one arm around my hip. I shake my head. And then nod.  He just giggles more and leads me to our room. So many things are going through my head. The accident. Today. But mostly Harry. And the most thought about thought is how he would look like naked. Honestly! I still can't remember. I mean he sleeps with boxer shorts but you know what I mean. I want to see him fully naked. Maybe sweating. Maybe I wanna see him hovering over me. Kissing me. Making me feel good in any possible way. But i dont think that it's good for my health already. When those few hours outside were hard, then sexual activities would be physically harder too. I think. I dont know it though.   
Suddenly I feel Harry laying over me and kissing me. ( wow, I didn't notice that he somehow got me in my bed..) As blue eyes meet green, he smiles at me.

  
"So the princess is awake now?"

  
He giggles again.

  
"Princess?!"

  
"Yes, Louis. You are my little princess."

  
"Ok..then.. As you might have noticed it by now, the princess is awake."

  
"Don't you say?! How are you feeling, Louis?! Why were you thinking so much? Did you remember something again?"

  
I shake my head.

  
"I just thought of my beautiful prince and how much I love him.."

  
And his naked body, but I didnt say that out loud. Would be embarrassing. But it shouldn't be. We are getting married and I'm embarrassed to think about his body?! Ok, I had that accident and still can't remember things like his body and how he looks like while we love each other but I should be able to tell him that I in some kind of way want him to be naked. Next to me. In me. Over me. But I dont. I stay quiet and blush.

  
"Ahh.. And how much do you love your king?"

  
"King? Honestly?"

  
"Yes and I asked you something, darling!"

  
"I love him so much that I just want to kiss him all day, want to spend my life with him forever and I still can't thank him enough for staying by my side and being such a wonderful boyfriend. Harry, I love you so so so much."

  
Lonely tears are falling down my cheek. He immediately kisses them away. His smile and his bright eyes are so beautiful. He's beautiful. But him being happy makes him even more. It's so wonderful.

  
"Awwe Louueh. I love you so so much too and I'm glad that we're here together. It was worth the waiting that you wake up and get your memory back."

 

I swallow and look at him.

 

"How can I ever repay you, though?"

 

He shakes his head and kisses me deeply.

 

"You don´t need to repay me, silly! You are all I need!"

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

The next few days passed like nothing. It's like they weren't really there. They were gone so fast. Like Louis and Harry just slept through. But they didn't. They even were busy all day. But for them it felt like a few seconds. Not almost a whole week.  
They got their rings and their tuxedos. (The tuxedos of course not together as it should be a surprise.) They met the other boys several times, not only to plan the last things for the wedding but they were also looking for a new management.

As Magee didn't want to work with "disloyal" , as he likes to call it, clients anymore, he dropped them... It´s not like that it didn´t make him happy. It´s not like that it didn´t make all of them happy. But it hurts to be called that. It hurts all five of them. It hurts Harry because he almost lost the love of his life for being loyal. He did everything what he was told. Even though he hated to do so, always. He even acted like he was in love with Taylor Swift. He did his best. It hurts Louis because he always did what he was told and the moment he told them that he´d maybe "marry" someone he doesn´t want to marry he almost gets killed. He loses his memory and almost the love of his life. It hurts Liam because he always was loyal to everyone. He could never hurt or betray a fly. He would immediately feel bad for it. So this hurts him even more. It hurts Zayn because he never said a word against management. He did as told. He even got praised because he actually fell in love with Perry. As this got management double promo. Yet, they say that Zayn has been disloyal, too. And he hates it. Because he didn´t do anything wrong. But the person who gets hurt by it the most is Niall. While Larry don´t give a single fuck about management anymore, Niall can´t stop thinking about why he´s getting called being disloyal, too. He´s the one who is the most dramafree person. He wouldn´t dare to say anything bad about anyone. Sure, his managers weren´t the best but they´re just humans too. (At least for Niall, for Larry they - or at least Harry M. - are monsters.) Niall tries to find the good in everyone and tries to help to make every side happy in some way. But now, he has this feeling that he´s made something wrong for trusting management. He is truly sad about it. 

 

 

Harry PoV

The closer the wedding gets, the more we both, me and Louis, get more nervous. It's not like that Louis would leave me or would say no. Or wouldn't attend the wedding. I'm just so afraid that something bad will happen again. As we left the management (or we got dropped ), the wedding will be a bit more bigger and even official. There won't be paparazzi, hopefully not. But it's official that a couple from our band will get married today. Before the big wedding or after, Louis and me didn't get that sorted out that well, we'll come out to our fans. A little tweetcam or something like that, I guess. I'm not really afraid of the reactions we will get, but that Louis won't be feeling good at the wedding. What if he won't remember someone from his family? What if he looks at his sister but can't remember her? What if some of them start speaking of a certain event when he was smaller and he doesn´t remember? He does his best to play his fear down but I felt his nervousness and his fear last evening. It literally made me feel bad that I couldn't stay with him over night. Damn traditions..  Why is it so important that we stay away from each other the last night of being fiancés?! But Louis thinks it's a beautiful tradition, so I have to live with it.. Gladly that night is over. Sleeping on Niall's couch wasn't that good. My back hurts a bit. However. There's a big smile plastered on my face. In a few hours my name will be Harry Tomlinson. (Yes, Louis got his way and I will get his surname)

I'm already wearing my black tuxedo and my black dress shoes. But I don't know what to do with my hair. Should I braid it? Just a bit? As it is quite long right now, it wouldn't look that bad. Would it? Would Louis like it?! Can I wear a bandana to a wedding? I guess not. So I simple just braid my hair a bit. I hear a knock on my ( more like Niall's) door.

  
"Come in, if your name isn't Louis."

  
I laugh.

  
"But it really is me.. Not funny, Harold..uhm..should we do the twitcam now?"

  
Oh, it's really him..shit..He isn't allowed to see me in the tuxedo now. Or is that superstition only true for wedding dresses?

  
"Don't worry, Haz, I'm not wearing my tuxedo.. I'm in a dressing gown .."

  
"Yeah..uhm. Wait, one minute yeah?!"

  
I look for my dressing gown and put it on. Additionally, I put on one of Niall's caps. How did Louis' stupid superstition get over to me? Maybe it's just because I want everything to be fine. Everything ok. Everything perfect for the love of my life. It will. Hopefully. Eleanor is in jail. We're not with our old management anymore. What should go wrong? I guess I shouldn't think about that.. Everytime I think that way something goes wrong..

  
"Come in, babe."

  
And immediately he's in. Hugging me and giving me a short kiss.

  
"So.. The twitcam"

  
He's rubbing his hands nervously and looks at me like a lil puppy.

  
"Yeah..do you want to do it?"

  
He nods.

  
"The world will know it anyway as there will be a few paps.."

  
I nod and take my laptop from my bed and put it up on a table. I log in and sigh. Do I really want to do that? Letting everyone know about our little secret? About us? Our relationship?   
Louis takes my hand and smiles.

  
"Together."

  
I furrow my eyes confused.

  
"What?"

  
"We will make it. Together. That's what I said, curly"

  
He giggles.

  
"Oh.."

  
"Where are you with your thoughts, Harold?"

  
He eyes me curiously.

  
"At my wonderful fiancé"

  
"He must be really wonderful if you can't stop thinking of him.."

He hugs me from behind and kiss my shoulder.

  
"He is!"

  
We both laugh. I'm so glad he is here with me and that we'll get married in a few hours. I sigh. But I don´t know what to feel about being out of the closet in a few minutes. Everything will change, won´t it? I mean I was the manwhore of the band and Louis was the one with the girlfriend. And from one minute to the other we are the couple, everyone has been speculated about. 

  
"Let's do it.."

  
He nods.

  
I put on the webcam.

  
"Is it on?"

  
"Yeah, I guess.."

He puts his head on my shoulder, looking at the laptop with a concentrated look. I bite my lip because he is just the most cutest person alive.

  
"Hey, lads.. Uhm I don't know how to say this.. Well.. As you might know I spent the last few months day for day in the hospital. Because of Louis. Y'all didn't know much why he was there or anything .. The reason he got there was a fight we had. Well, basically. The fight was because of him and his BEARD.. Yeah you heard right, Louis and me are"

  
"Together."

  
He smiles and takes my hand in his. We both smile into the camera and I continue.

  
"Louis got into a car accident. That's what everyone knew but no one knew who it was. In the beginning no one did. Louis didn't remember it because of his amnesia .. Now we know who it was.. Eleanor.."

  
I spit her name and look away. 

  
"I guess I will speak now a bit, okay? As I woke up in the hospital bed I didn't know anything. Not my name. Not why I was there. But the worst was that I didn't remember who Harry was. He was sitting next to my bed so many nights and I wake up and didn't know he was.."

  
A few tears fall down on his cheeks, but he keeps going.

  
"He looked so broken. So done. But through the weeks I got my memories back. Mostly because Harry and the other lads kept visiting me and showing me things that had to do with my past. It took quite a long time.. To put the puzzle pieces together. But now I think I got my full memory back, at least about Harry and my relationship, there are still few things I can´t remember... but still.. I'm so glad. Being without knowing who your friends or boyfriend are is really terrible.. Trust me.."

  
I kiss his cheek and look back into the camera. A tweet pops up. 'Why are you both wearing dressing gowns?! Are you the 1D couple who gets married today?!?!?!'

  
We both grin and kiss.

  
"Yes! Harry and me will get married in.. 2 hours..and I guess we should get ready now.. I hope you all will support us.. If not well.. Then you're not a real fan? Because it should be about our music and not who we love .. Uhm alright..bye.."

  
We turn off the laptop. I kiss him again before he heads out to get ready. Two hours.. Oh my god. He'll be my man in two hours. Wait... This also means that I won´t see Harry in the next two hours. I pout while getting myself ready.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya :)
> 
> Hope you like how this story went!!! 
> 
> Got some question though haha
> 
> Would you read the sequel? I started one on Wattpad back then, but didn´t continue it because I had the feeling no one would care about it? So would you like knowing more about Harry and Louis after the accident? Especially when they start a little family?
> 
> Also, I´m like really bad at promo *hiding money emoji* ... could some of you *MAYBE* help me???
> 
> Have a nice day/ night / weekend :3
> 
>  
> 
> PS Theres still another chapter left but still couldnt wait to write that :)


	28. Chapter 28

Louis PoV

I always hated waiting- I don´t even need to remember every moment I had to wait for something or someone to know this. There were moments what were easy to wait for and some were I could have exploded from the time going too slow. Waiting for presents when I was little, waiting for the results of a test, waiting for mum to be faster while “just getting some milk from Tesco” (I don´t know why I can remember this because getting some milk doesn´t take so much time), waiting for the fans comments about a new album. Some seem like they take years and some just don´t take long but it´s still nerve-wrecking to wait for. The thing is that I hate waiting because I´m quite impatient and curious. Yet, I have to wait now. There are two hours left (now that Harry has left) to wait before I can marry Harry and honestly , if I compare it to all the moments where I had to wait and can remember, this is the worst. I can´t do much now, can I? It takes me just 15 minutes to get finished with being dressed and having everything set for the wedding. I even put some aftershave on, even though I dislike the smell at the moment because I´m not used to all those smells anymore, but Harry loves it. So, I do it, simply to make him happy. But there´s still one hour and 45 minutes left for me to wait for the ceremony. 105 minutes left to sit on the bed and do rather nothing. Okay, nothing isn´t really true because Zayn comes in for a bit to keep me a bit preoccupied. We aren´t doing much, just talking. Talking about my soon-to-be husband, to be precise. But this talk doesn´t take long, though. It maybe takes 30 minutes, maybe even less. Then he gets a message on his phone (who has his phone on at such a day?!) and leaves to go downstairs to Liam. Somehow they disappear and leave me. Such nice people! Ughhh… It´s not like that Zayn is my best man and promised to walk me in the church (like women get walked in by their fathers). He fucking promised to do so because we all know that my father won´t come! He promised! Apparently promises aren´t that important anymore.. I really would like to be walked in the church with someone next to me. Obviously my real dad (as in my sperm donor) won´t come because he left me when I was too young to understand what was going on and I certainly don´t want him to be here either. But I have this little bit of hope that the man I actually used to call dad would come, even though I know that he won´t. Jesus, he didn´t even think about visiting me in the hospital, so why would he come now? It´s just that it would have been really nice if Mark came. I´d like to see everyone again (after the coma and amnesia) and get to talk to them. To be honest, I don´t care if someone has visited me or not. I just want to reconnect with everyone and put the puzzle pieces of some people in my brain together. But whatever. I try to not get pessimistic. Especially because I don´t have someone to walk me inside. BUT it´s gonna be my wedding today and even though I am sitting on my bed being fully bored, I still have the biggest possible smile plastered on my face. Harry´s finally gonna be mine and that´s the best thing that ever will have happened to me.

10 minutes before the wedding and I´m standing outside the church. All alone because our guests are already inside and so is Harry. (No, I sadly haven´t seen him, yet!!!) I´m waiting for the organ to start playing and telling me to come inside.

Suddenly there´s an arm on my shoulder and I immediately turn around- afraid of who could possibly not be inside yet. The moment I see who this person is my mouth drops. I never would have thought that this would happen. The weird thing with my mouth changes into a smile. It´s really is him. It´s Mark. He really got here!

“Wow! Look at you! You look so good, my boy! I´m so proud of you.”

Okay, it actually took me a second or two to remember him. Of course, Harry has showed me tons of pictures of my family, so now I know that it really is him. The odd thing is that I straight up (without having to think all too much about it and without having a flashback) remember many memories with him and about him (talks with mum about him and such).The odd thing about is that he is the only person where this happens. I´d like to say that he must be important to me but Harry´s too (obviously, so much more than him) and I didn´t remember him for a while. It confuses the hell out of me because why do I remember someone I haven´t seen in years but I can´t remember the love of my life!? I immediately hug him because it just feels right and familiar and I wouldn´t have really believed that he would come. It´s because I´m in the process of fully recovering! That must be it, otherwise I can´t really explain it. And if this is actually the case, that would mean that I´m good now. What would be really awesome and cool and hopefully will stay like this.

“Aww, boo. You look so much better now! I have visited you a few times when you were in coma… I´m sorry, I couldn´t visit when you were awake… I helped Jay and Dan a bit with the kids because sometimes – especially Jay- needed some time off everything because she was so worried but couldn´t really leave her kids alone for long, you know? The final reason she didn´t visit you was because Harry promised to keep you safe and sound. And of course we all believed him and look where you are now! One week out of the hospital, happier than ever, and getting married!”

I sigh into him. I have never really hugged him like that since I´m a big boy. Not all that much either when I was smaller. But it feels good. My father pets my back softly- possibly to calm me down or at least to try to. Even though I´m quite relaxed right now. That doesn´t mean that I will stay like this, though, but I try to be as optimistic and calm as possible for as long as possible.  I hate being nervous, when I´m all shaking. That´s why I´m quite happy about not being that nervous yet. But what´s with Harry???

Is Harry nervous right now???

Does Harry also get goose bumps just thinking about the next two hours because he can´t believe either that we´ll be married soon???

How does he look??? What does he exactly wear??? I hope a black tuxedo like I do. Even though he (obviously) looks gorgeous in everything he wears, I would still prefer something that simple. Especially because a black tuxedo is a personal (at least for me) must for a soon-to-be husband for the ceremony. Also, it would look so amazing on him and we would match!!!

What did he do with his (now longer) hair??? Did he braid it??? Did he put it up in a ponytail??? Did he let them be their natural curly selves???

I sigh, again. So much I need to know. And I need to know it now!

As the beautiful melody from the organ starts, my hands are getting sweaty and I feel like I can´t breathe anymore. Well, there goes my relaxed mood! Okay, this was way faster than I had expected! I thought I would get nervous (maybe even a bit anxious) a bit later, like inside the church when I´m standing in front of Harry. I thought that I would walk in – not being bothered at all by this nervousness- and the moment Harry turns around, I would stop walking because he´d be just too beautiful and breath-taking. But no! It has to hit me now.

“Louis? Son? Boo bear? Everything okay? We should go inside…”

“I… yeah. Yeah, I guess. You must be right?”

I stutter and blush. Couldn´t I be more embarrassing? I inhale and exhale, trying to breathe and calm down.  I never was that nervous. There was one time were I was close to being like that and that was my audition. Which is understandable because it was my first time front of so many people. (I might come off as a strong person but I still can be afraid to fail.) The thing what calms me down the most is that I was nervous BEFORE the audition and when I was in front of the jury everything was (quite) fine, again. So, there´s this hope in me that it will be like that, too, inside the church. I´m just anxious right now because I´m (basically) on my own. Sure, there´s dad but he´s one person and the only person who can calm me down on their own is standing inside. But I will manage my nervousness because Harry loves me (and is waiting for me, right now, to come inside) and won´t ever dump me. (Especially because we just outed ourselves two hours ago and it wouldn´t make sense to dump me now.) Nothing bad will and can happen now. We are actually (for once) free to fully show our love to each other openly. Without having to be afraid that there will be paparazzi or management close. We are free.

“Are you ready, Lou?”

His voice is soft and so fatherly. He smiles and hugs me, again. Looking up at him, I return both and nod. I am. I am so much more than just ready to marry Harry.

“Yes! Yes, I think I am.”

“Just to say it again, I´m proud of you! So, so proud of you. For all that you´ve had to go through for this love. You stayed true to him and didn´t leave him when something bad happened. You deserve him and he deserves you. You know that I don´t think all too highly about marriage anymore… but you two are just made to marry each other! You both are the most wonderful and amazing couple in this whole world! How do people in your age call that now? OTP? You both are exactly like that and so much more.”

He takes me arm and starts walking me to the entry.

“Thanks, dad!”

I almost start to cry because I barely get such long confessions told in person. It makes me even more smile. This day is so beautiful! I love it!

Now it´s happening!!! We´re going inside. I smile the biggest possible smile. Firstly, a smile to dad, assuring him that I´m okay. I´m still nervous, probably beyond it but I´ll manage it. And then, I see Harry (and all others, but somehow my attentions is only on him).My smile never was that big. He actually is wearing a black tuxedo like I wished for. He doesn´t only look fine as fuck with it! Nope, it even makes his bum look so peachy and sexy. He turns around- looking at me with so much love, tears already building in his eyes- and my smile doesn’t seem to stop growing the closer I get to this wonderful man that I can call mine. Standing next to him, I whisper a “Hi” and he wipes his tears away, saying “Hey” back.

“Harry, babe, are you really crying already?! Stop cry-“

I don´t manage to say more. Now I can´t tell him how stupid it is to cry already. The ceremony didn´t really start yet and he´s already crying. I have to cry now too, the tears falling down my cheeks one after another. Everything is so beautiful. The people around us- here only for us to celebrate our love. The church and how it´s decorated is perfect, too. And then there´s Harry. He´s only wearing a simple black tuxedo and having his hair braided a bit and still looks so beautiful. But I suppose not wearing all too startling clothes makes him look so special. He even has a blue rose on his suit – matching my green. Which makes me sob, because Niall, Zayn and Liam had to fuck with my mind like that. Turning around, I immediately spot those three and I´m pretty sure that they know what I just saw. I turn back to Harry. They did this on purpose. I´m pretty sure that they wanted to see us crying. The man in front of us coughs a little and smiles at us, showing that he (kind of) understands us.

“You both okay?”

He whispers grinning. Both of us nod, as I take Harry´s hand in mine. I play with his fingers (to calm me) and smile at him. Who would have thought that I would marry the cute but fetus boy I met at the The Script concert? Who would have thought that he would make me so happy now? I certainly didn´t. Sure, I had a crush on him (but will never tell Harry that) for a while, even though I talked to him for like a second. But he does make me so happy now. He makes me feel so many positive emotions and I´m so happy to be here with him.

“I think we can start now.”

The man laughs a bit. It´s not a mean laugh directed at us, obviously not. He just wants to get back to the wedding but in a nice way. He doesn´t look all too old, maybe fifteen years older than us. It´s not a big time span and maybe that´s the reason why he seems to understand us in some way. An older one might want to get this over with (especially because we´re gay) but he really seems to be enjoying out company. Honestly? The boys couldn´t have gotten a better one.

“Today we all got together to celebrate the wedding of those two special men standing here.”

He smiles. Next to me, Harry is starting to sob again. I swallow down my own tears and kiss his hand.

“Both of them went through a very tough time and I guess they got even closer because of it. But who wouldn´t? They both needed someone to stay strong with and found each other. Who knows if they would work with another partner. To me, it doesn’t look like it. I didn´t even have time to get to know them personally, like I normally do with couples, but I know that they´re perfect for each other. Not only because of Liam, Zayn and Niall who told me quite a lot but also through my sister´s daughters who ship you two a lot…”

Everyone is laughing, even Harry and me can´t stop giggling.

“Ehhh, yeah. I also haven´t gotten the chance, yet, to give that many couples in marriage… but I still know that you two are just made for each other, chosen by Him. The way you two look at each other, especially when you walked in Louis, is something you barely witness anymore. Well, also, no couple standing where you two are standing right now managed to cry that much just at the beginning. Which is quite cute and shows me how long you must have waited for it to happen. Not waited to get married but to be happy. I heard some things from your friends, and those are things that shouldn´t happen to a couple! Especially if the reason is that you two are two males. “

He gives us a genuine smile, continuing his speech about how lucky we are for having each other. Even though the speech is so beautiful, my attention wanders to Harry. We smile at each other and I really couldn’t be luckier right now. Imagine Harry wouldn´t have come back to me the day I woke up. What if he gave up? What if I didn´t get my memory back? (Which wouldn´t have happened, but just imagine!!!) What if I lost him?

“Louis William Tomlinson, do –“

I didn´t know he was already at the important part. I immediately look at him, blushing because I didn´t really listen to everything he has said.

“Do you wanna take the man to your left, Harry Edward Styles, as your husband?”

I take both of Harry´s hands in mine (that are shaking incredibly right now).

“YES, I want.”

Zayn pops up next to me, giving me a please-forgive-me look and holds a smile pillow with the ring to me. I take it and softly put it on Harry´s ring finger. I bite my lip, while he starts sobbing again.

“Shhh, babe, everything is good now.”

I smile trying to calm him down.

“And you, Harry Edward Styles, do you want to take the man next to you as your husband?”

He nods, but isn´t able to actually say it. You can hear some of our families and friends laugh but also some cry. I guess that the crying ones are our mothers and as I look to our families, I see that I´m right. Anne and Jay are really crying their eyes out right now and I just want to hug both (and Harry!!!). I want to hug mom and tell her how much I love her. Tell her about everything and let her tell me stories about me. But actually the thing I want to do most at the moment is to finally kiss Harry already. He still doesn´t manage to answer because he´s shaking so much. I pet his hand softly and look at him. Trying to show him that it´s alright. That I understand him. That I love him and that there´s no reason to be so nervous. I won´t bite him (now!!!).

“Harry, love. Everything´s fine! Just one word okay? I managed too!”

He nods at me and immediately says Yes.  Smiling at me. He´s given the ring and I can hear Niall jumping up and screaming a “Hell yeah”. Honestly? I´ve never laughed that much because the pastor´s face is just priceless right now. Harry takes the ring with a shaking hand and lets it fall. I can see how he bites his tongue, probably trying to be more concentrated. Gosh, he´s so adorable!

At this sight of Harry being all cute but also so unsure, I get a flashback. Not like the last ones I had. It´s more like remembering an old memory. Like I did before the accident. I don´t pass out, feel dizzy or anything similar like that. But I still remember it and it feels so real.

 

_It was when he asked me out. We had a few dates- well, “dates”… it actually was more like a HarryLou time. Just him and me cuddling. Him and me doing some karaoke. Him and me cooking together. We always ended up cuddling each other and falling asleep next to each other. Me spooning Harry because back then he was my little boy and I had to protect him at all cost. He was too pure for this cruel, homophobic and abusive world. I didn´t want him to ever get hurt._

_There was this one date which was a bit different. It was an actual date with me taking him out to some fancy restaurant. However, as said, this date was different. After eating at the restaurant Harry got us a cab. The driver apparently knew the address already and drove to the park. To be honest, it freaked me out that someone I don´t know knew where we were going but I wasn´t. Harry just giggled because apparently I´m funny when I´m pouting and trying to stand my point. He walked me to the lake that was there and I couldn´t believe that he actually had planned everything in detail. There was a picnic waiting for us. (Well, that was the reason why we barely ate at the restaurant…) We spent all night there, just enjoying each other’s company. Harry was better than every amazing dream I had. He was nice, cute, so terrible charming and sweet but also so nervous. I spotted him biting his lips several times. Whenever I saw him doing that, I would just start to cuddle into him. But as the night grew darker, Harry got more nervous. Then he suddenly kneed down and my breathing stopped because I was so unsure of what was to come and how I should react to it. Biting his lips (AGAIN!!!!), his hands in which he held a rose started to shake._

_“Lou… I know… I know that we´ve known each other for only a few months now but…-“_

_He couldn´t continue anymore. Well, actually he could but I didn´t let him because I kissed him. Kissed him hard because it felt so, so right. Putting my arms around his neck, giving him a kiss with pure passion. And well, that´s actually the moment where we got officially together._

As I feel something cold on my finger, I look up at Harry, smiling at him. Tears forming in my eyes, again. Harry and me are holding hands now, waiting for the sentence every couple that just got married wants to hear.

Our pastor grins knowingly at us.

“Yes, Louis… You don´t need to kill me with your look on me like that. You are allowed to kiss!”

“Finally!”

I mutter under my breath and put my arms around Harry´s neck. Like I did on the day we officially got a couple. I kiss him. With all my love. Everyone around is cheering, crying and clapping. And Harry? He´s the one who´s crying the most. But it doesn´t matter because this tears aren´t sad tears.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of Amnesia!!! Hope y´all liked it and will read the sequel too!! The prologue is already up! :))


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